[steve.m]

So I met this beautiful girl a couple years ago at a club, we hit it off right away ! She and I talked all the time, we saw each other here and there seeing how her and my schedule was pretty busy! We have been off and on talking for the past 2 years and we recently got back in contact a few months ago. She was never really free to get together because she told me she was "always working at this bar" she would always call me and message me, showing an interest but we would never chill. Last week she called me saying that she wants to talk to me about something and she wants to forget about the past and focus on the futare! So she comes over the next day and tells me that she's a stripper and she sells drugs! We talked about it and she told me that its really great money and she works at a clean place! She also told me that if she's with me then there would be no other man in her life but me and she would be faithful. So I said as long as that is what it is then I'm cool with it, seeing how strong my feelings are for her! I went to her work and saw her doing her thing and it kind of got to me in a negative way. It felt like **** seeing her being all flirtatious with other men and have men looking at her in creepy ways ! If I don't go to her work then I think I can manage but at the same time I would prefer for her not to strip anymore and the whole drug thing scares me and gets me worried about her. I see her more often now but I also don't see her sometimes because she's working or selling, and the thing is when I'm with her I feel amazing and when I'm not I think what she is doing ! I want to be with her soooo bad but I need some feed back on what people think about this and what I should do?

[J_9]

Firstly, you got together with her KNOWING her lifestyle. Either accept it or move on. At this early stage in the relationship you haven't been together long enough to ask her to change for you.

I have more of a problem with the drug dealing than I do the stripping. That is illegal activity whereas stripping is not.

[Fr_Chuck]

While I may not agree with her life style, it is her choice,
Your choice is to either accept her as she is, or move on and find someone else that meets the moral levels you require.

[laplusjolie]

All right well you've got to understand that being a stripper is also her job.I guess that if you love her you trust her and about the drug stuff well you should talk her out of it. I understand that you can't see her that often but when you have the chance I say you talk to her directly about it.

[talaniman]

I think you jumped into something you know nothing about and are uncomfortable with, but I doubt you will change her, or if she is worth trying to change. Your heart has made a choice for you that your head doesn't like and maybe that's all the warning you will get before something bad happens.

Keep some bail money handy, and some lawyers in mind, for when she gets busted for selling, or possessing dope.

[TroubleOnMyMind]

First off, you have to remember some people DON'T WANT TO BE SAVED!!

My situation is not too different. My girlfriend got a job at a stripclub and told me she was bartending at a restaurant until 3am. I caught her in multiple lies and she finally told me. I played along with it, acting like it was OK,until she let me come and visit here at work. It really bothered me to see her like that and disrespecting herself. I really do not want her working there and tried subtley to suggest other forms of employment. I send jobs listings to her email and give them her cell phone number so maybe she'll see something she'll like or something she thinks she can do and if she speaks with the employer maybe she will take it seriously. Women dedicate themselves to something they think they can do or what their good at, she keeps saying she doesn't have any other choice and its all she can do(bull****)! I bothers me every night when she is at work and the place is not clean. I have too much invested to walk away so all I can do is let her make up her own mind and slowly separate myself if she is not willing to try new things or compromise with me. If I try to force her to quit she will rebel and never speak to me again. I am not condoning this behavior just slowly removing things that we share, the car, going out to eat, trips, cable, and bills. I have started letting her pay her own bills since she wants to make her own life choices and soon I will move out. The group is right.. you either accept it or don't!! A man should not have to stand for bull**** especially if he's doing the right thing. I have a great job, 2 cars, and a B.S./M.S. degree. There is no reason for her to stoop to such low levels because of her insecurities. As a man I deserve better! And that is what you must tell yourself. It is hard but it has to happen. I know it sucks to leave someone when their going through a personal crisis, but some people don't want to be saved!!