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    shanny_2006's Avatar
    shanny_2006 Posts: 61, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Dec 7, 2010, 08:53 PM
    Why did he invite me over to his house?
    Me and this guy have been seeing each other for 3 months now and he has invited me to his house. I am a bit hesitant about this as I know that we might end up having sex. Is there a way in which sex can be avoided and could he have invited me to his house for another reason?
    shanny_2006's Avatar
    shanny_2006 Posts: 61, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 7, 2010, 09:01 PM
    Does he only want casual sex?
    I am dating this guy we had sex after 2.5 months of knowing each other. After this, we are still dating. However, I am the one that initiates that I would like to go out some place other than a party or somewhere in the night. We have been on a makeshift picnic at our local on 2 consecutive occasions and apart from that, he has continued to text me and call me. However, he keeps asking me when am I going to visit his house. I keep putting it off, hoping that it is not just about the sex. He asked about visiting my house for Christmas dinner and he calls me his baby girl now and again but I don't get the feeling that it is real. I believe he is just saying it for the sake of it. He has also spoken about his plans for my upcoming birthday and he would like to go somewhere with me, preferably clubbing after finals. Do you think he only wants casual sex or he wants more than this?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 8, 2010, 02:11 AM
    Ask him what he has in mind. Dinner? Watching movies? If your impression is that sex 'might' happen, and you do not want it to, you'll have to muster up the courage to say so, if that is what he has been implying.

    If you don't know him well enough to know what the chances are, or you don't know him well enough to ask him what he has in mind, then you don't know him well enough to have sex with him.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 8, 2010, 08:16 AM

    Shanny, I think you need to sit down and talk to him. Find out what he thinks by asking him. Let him know what you think by telling him. Be honest about your needs and expectations. Listen to his. Don't be afraid of the answers. It is better to make an informed decision than to let the fear control your thoughts.

    I have read your other questions about this man and I think you are causing your own confusion because you seem to be talking to everyone who isn't him. What do you really know about him as an individual? You can't build a relationship or find effective compromises if you don't know where each other is coming from.

    Have you found out how old he actually is or have you decided to hide from that question, too? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...me-528684.html
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 8, 2010, 02:35 PM

    He's the only one with the answers, so he's the one whom you should be asking.

    I would say, there's no reason why you can't go to each other's houses to hang out, just hold off on the sex until he answered all your questions.

    There's no reason to continue having sex if you're not even comfortable with him.
    shanny_2006's Avatar
    shanny_2006 Posts: 61, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Dec 8, 2010, 07:31 PM
    Comment on Cat1864's post
    Actually I haven't found that out as yet... I will definitely ask him this time around
    Jeha's Avatar
    Jeha Posts: 81, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Dec 9, 2010, 08:05 AM
    Communication girl. I agree with jake2008 speak to him ask him this intentions, if you find that he want to have sex tell him no, that you would rather do something else, if he truly likes and respects you he will not get angre at you and he will understand. Never be afriad to speak to your partner about something that bothers you. Good luck.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #8

    Dec 9, 2010, 08:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shanny_2006 View Post
    I know that we might end up having sex. Is there a way in which sex can be avoided and could he have invited me to his house for another reason?
    Hello s:

    Unless you have OTHER business with him, OF COURSE he wants to poke you. If you want to avoid it, don't go. But, if you ask me (and you did), it sounds like you're into it.

    By the way, assuming you ARE into it, inviting you over for SEX, and SEX ONLY, is a truly WONDERFUL invitation...

    excon

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