[whitney_ann93]

What do you guys think on marriage young? 18.

[justcurious55]

Why the rush to get married?

[whitney_ann93]

Well my boyfriend was going to ask me to marry him and just have a long engagement we both want that and I don't know he wants to and I do to we been together for a year.

[justcurious55]

A year is not a very long time to have been together. Why do you both want a long engagement? To me, the purpose of the engagement is so you have time to get the wedding planned. I know there are plenty of people that have long engagements. But I've never understood why. What's your reasoning for wanting one? And where are your parents in all of this? Do they approve? Do you have their blessing?

[answerme_tender]

Marriage is nothing to be entered into lightly. The first passion, or can't live without love will dull, and what is
Left better be some mutual respect,trust,friendship and most of all Communication skills.

If you can put off the marriage until both of you can complete not only high school education, but some type of college, or technical school will help the financial situation of any marriage.
I'm not just talking pay check,but benefits like insurance, health,life,etc. These are things you need when starting a family.

I would take the time to talk to your parents, see what they have to say. Good luck

[whitney_ann93]

Well,thanks for the comment. We are just going to be engage for awhile till we do finish school and we have one more year. I didn't make my question very good. But I did talk to my mother and she said it was fine,but me&my boyfriend are whatin on merriage.

[whitney_ann93]

My mom does approve,she knows everything.We want a long engagement so we can finish school 1year left.Us getting a job,I want to be a cosmetology school,he don't know yet,he has some good things but don't know which one. Us getting your own place.

[justcurious55]

But you still haven't explained what the rush is. Why do you need to be engaged? Why do you both needed the added pressure of being engaged? Why can't you both just date and finish school and get engaged if you both still feel the same after you've graduated and actually dated for a while?

[Curlyben]

Get engaged and LIVE together for a few years and then see if you feel the same way about each other.

It's amazing what you find out about someone once you have lived with them for a while.

[donf]

Whitney,

I guess I'm a bit of a prude with respect to the living together. I do not believe in that.

As for getting married at 18, I strongly suggest that you wait.

My wife and I are extremely lucky. We eloped at 18 and will be married 46 years this coming July.

The transformation from single to married is enormous. In my case, I had to get use to this 5'3" person, who not only knew right from wrong, had principles and a steel I-Beam for a backbone, but she was also quite bright.

The first 4 years were a very long horrible adjustment for me.

For example, My Lady does not tolerate lying. I'm a guy, I wouldn't know the truth if it clobbered me over the head (which it did several times).

I cannot and will not speak for anyone else but marriage is difficult enough after you have established yourself but it is a gruelling battle while you are still seeking to figure out who you are and how you fit in this thing called world.

I do not regret for a minute marrying at 18. I would certainly do it all over with the same Lady.

But my suggestion to you is to wait until you know you are ready for marriage.

[talaniman]

I think it's a lousy idea, personally. Engaged or not take time to prove to yourself you can feed yourself, and just have fun dating before you get all tied up into supporting each other.

There is plenty of time to live together, get married, or have children down the road. Enjoy the freedom of being a young adult, and explore your world, and each other before reality takes all that from you, and the real hard work of making a life comes down on you.

What's the hurry?

[DoulaLC]

Another option to consider, since it appears you both like the idea of being engaged to show your commitment to each other, might be promise rings instead.

Some people choose to start there before making the jump to engagement.