Check out some similar questions!

shevvy · Dec 6, 2010, 03:17 AM

I am married to the most wonderful man ever,he is a God-send,treats me like royalty but I can't stop thinking that I still have feelings for a man I used to love(had feelings for him for about 3 years on and off).We were not together as he didn't feel the same way about me,as I did about him.. we are all in the same church,and now I think he is seeing someone and I have started to become like a stalker watching their facebooks trying to information on whether there is anything going on.My husband knows that this man rejected me but he doesn't know the way that I feel about the man even now.I thought the feelings had been dealt with before I got married but they just seem to be so strong recently,I also have been having awful thoughts like Im not good enough and why didn't the man I want me why wasn't I pretty enough? its crazy because we used to be great friends but we argued like all the time,I know we would never be good for each other.. Im so scared as we are having a gathering,next week and he will be there what if he brings this new girl?how will I be able to hold myself together in front of my wonderful husband? Please help me? Please?

tickle · Dec 6, 2010, 04:07 AM

You have to pull yourself together and honour your commitment to that wonderful husband of yours. There is nothing for you with this other man; he has moved on and you supposedly have to. Be thankful for what you have.

Tick

QLP · Dec 6, 2010, 04:15 AM

It seems to me that this isn't about wanting this man as such but about the fact that you want him to want you because you have never come to terms with the rejection.

Don't let your lack of self-esteem ruin your marriage. Think about it, is it realistic to think that every single man on the planet that we find attractive should feel the same way about us? I mean there's only one Brad Pitt, how's the poor guy going to keep all those ladies happy lol? So this one man didn't feel the same way about you as you did about him. It happens to many many people. I'm sure there are people that have been attracted to you that you didn't feel the same way about.

Think of it this way. There's probably some woman out there who would love to have your husband. But who has him? YOU.
If your husband is a wonderful man why would he want to be with you if you aren't good enough or pretty enough?

Don't measure your self-worth by what you cannot have but by what you do have. You are probably never going to be president. Does that mean you shouldn't value whatever role you do have in life? You cannot have this particular man. Does that take anything away from what you have got?

If you cannot get past this consider talking it over with a counsellor. Not only do you deserve to get over this rejection but your wonderful husband deserves a wife who can focus on the great marriage she has, not one who is still beating herself up about the one that got away.