[needshelp86]

I'm a 24 yr old male. I have been with my girlfriend now for 6 month. When we 1st got together we would have sex all the time like 3 times a day. Now I don't have the urge to have to have sex anymore and it is really hurting my relationship. I lost my last job and have started a new one now and my girlfriend hates my new job because I work in a sports bar. Also my girlfriend has been going in to my personal stuff like my email, Facebook and cell phone because her friends keep telling her I am cheating on her and she does not trust me because we don't have sex as much. Even know she has not found anything she will not leave me alone about it looking over my shoulder when I am texting or on my cell or anything like that.

[CravenMorhead]

I think your libido is lowered because of your relational issues.

The main issue here I think is the lack of trust on the part of your girlfriend. Violating your privacy on a regular basis. She's made up her mind that you're cheating on her and will find some proof if it means destorying your relationship to validate her suspicions.

It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. She is almost looking for a reason to dump you.

You are six months into this relationship. I hate being the forebear of bad news but I think you should seriously think about whether you can live with this for the rest of your life. Try to decide whether this person is your match. The reason I suggest that you think about this is that if she is this jealous and controlling after six months, what is she going to be like after a year? After five? How is she going to react when she's pregnant, in a torrent of emotions, and feeling really unattractive? For example.

I would honestly cut her free and start anew. No one should be trusted so little, and have so little privacy.

If you want to continue on this relationship you will need to talk to her and make her understand how she is violating your privacy and how it is affecting your relationship. I am not sure she realizes it. You might even need to go to counselling.

Good luck.

[needshelp86]

Hi this is needhelp86's girlfriend. I don't really know what to say other than I have been hurt very badly in the past.. even though this is not his fault, it is why I have acted the way I have. We both fell for each other hard and fast and it makes me scared. Sometimes I think how can he be this in love and this happy with me, it can't be real. This is why I have been "trying to find something" that he is doing that is wrong. After reading what you wrote today, it has put into perspective what I have been doing to my boyfriend and our relationship. He tells me that it is not too late to fix things and I would really like to do so. I love him more than anything in the whole world and I feel just awful seeing what this has done to him. I agree that the sex life is suffering because of my actions. I am really committed to leaving his private life private because I don't want to lose my relationship. I know it may seem like I am this horrible person and he should start over, but we really love each other. If I lay off him do you think things will get better?