[shell87]

I need some help too its been upsetting me for months, I've been with my boyfriend for 10months at the beginning it was OK we had sex to a week but now we have moved in together I've found that he's been watching porn and masterbating a lot... its really bothering me I feel like its me that's the problem but I've never had this problem in other relationships before I know I'm a good lover some people say it mite be because of his age he's a lot older than me ( 41 ) and I'm 23 I have a very high sex drive and as a result I'm having to masterbate because he isn't giving me it but what's his excuse?? I've asked him why he isn't having sex with me and he says because he's stressed with work ( has his own business) but why is he masterbating?? I've thought about leaving him over this but I love him too much to do so and if I have it out with him he will go insane as he has abit of an anger issue. I don't know what to do about it I feel so hurt my this..?

[princess31]

I had the same problem. Except my boyfriend is dealing with stress instead of depression and that will cause him to lose his sex drive slightly. The masturbating to porn, well, that's a guy thing. My boyfriend does that once in a while too. Sometimes they need a little quick stress reliever without all the work involved if you know what I mean. I heard that depression can cause a persons sex drive to deminish especially a man's. Your boyfriend cares about you and wants to share a pleasurable moment with you. There is a solution to your problem though, call a sex counselor and go and both of you go and explain your problem and have them help. If you do not want to go see one, then your boyfriend can go to his doctor and ask him or her what they think he should do to solve his ejaculation problem and getting aroused as well. They might prescribe a med to help his sex drive, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is normal for a man at any age to lose his sex drive. That is why they have meds to help boost it (help stimulate the sensory nerves in the brain) Depression is a two sonsorys in the brain which are not firing together correctly. That's all. You guys will get through it, just hang in there.

[Synnen]

Not a good idea ot piggyback your question onto someone else's. I' have moved your question (and its one response) from the thread from 2008 you originally posted it in and put it in its own space

[jupiter6921]

Masturbation for guys is not the same thing as having sex with someone. Sometimes, masturbation is just a means to an end. It's a guy thing. It actually is stress relieving, helps induce sleep, and overall just releases a lot of tension. If a guy goes too long without masturbating, the stress of holding back can actually cause distraction from the rest of his life.

Don't leave him. Don't get mad at him. Having sex with another person is a completely separate issue than masturbation for males. Males do not hold it in the same regard as sex with another person as females may do. Masturbation is normal for males - some even masturbate 3 or 4 times a day.