[gara]

She want me back again , that was the subject of her last text message I got, we broke up before three month , and when she couldn't find no one better then me , she trying to come back to me , I'm all alone now in the house and don't even have friends to hang out , only in weekends , sometimes I do ask myself shall I call her , but I stop myself , and I didn't replay her back if I want to come back to her or not , and also me too I couldn't find no one better then her , ever girl I went out they are not like her , the way we break up it's was real stupid , today her girl friend sent me a message and she was telling that my ex girl friend she is very sick , and you better call her , but why , I'm too confused and lost , if I went back to her that means I'm weak, all I'm trying to say is I'm not video game I'm human

[Jake2008]

I think you should hold your ground, and continue with not being lured back into a relationship that didn't work out. You knew even before dating her three months, that it wasn't going to work, what makes you think that it will work now.

Don't fall for her texts. To try to communicate with you in such a cold way, show's, in my opinion, she's just tesing the waters to see if you will bite. Don't respond to her friends calling you either, that is also a sign of her lack of maturity in getting her friends to do her dirty work for her.

That you haven't found a new girlfriend yet, does not make her a better alternative. Wait until you find someone more compatible, and keep the ex in the past.

One of the signs of maturity in my opinion, is that when a relationship is over, that it is truly the end of something. A relationship that is over, isn't subject to second guessing, or trying again over and over. It's not wondering if you made a mistake, and its not going back to someone because you don't have anyone else to replace her with.

Trust that you made a good decision, for all the right reasons, to end the relationship in the first place. And stick to your guns.

[gara]

Jake let me tell you the full story , I live far away from my country and I'm employee I work far from my home land , I met this girl in the Facebook , and we were chatting for six month , and I never met her , but when the day came the day I'm going to see her , she was pretty then the way I have seen her pictures , I fall in love with her easly , and I don't know if she did too , the first two weeks the girl was nice , suddenly the third week she changed she not calling me or even sending me text messages , I asked her why you not calling , are you still waiitng the guy that you met in the net and that will be me , her girl friends use to get jelouse of her and why did I pick her , any way a lot of drama happened , she started telling me lies , and she use to go out with her friends , and her friends use to play on her brain telling her what to do about me , this girl was weak if we talking face to face every time we argue , every time I use to ask her question about why this and why that , she is use to give me akward silence , and soon when I return her back to her house , she use to send me text message about the all quesiton I asked her followed by the answers, she wasted all my vacation , my heart get broken so my vaction get wasted I took the flight and I returned back, so I told her before I leave she won't find no body better then me , and now you know the rest of the story

[Jake2008]

I don't think that there is anything wrong with meeting someone initially online. For a little while at least, it makes the world seem smaller, and the person you are meeting seem like they are just around the corner. Instant communication has its ups and downs, but also opportunities that didn't exist in generations past.

That you met this way, and then actually physically met her down the road, while it may seem like you knew her, you really didn't. You only knew her as an online personna, and the second part, knowing her in real time, in real life, put the two ends together so you had a complete picture. That put your expectations, assumptions, impressions, etc. in sync. The total picture of this person is what you ended up with.

And it still didn't work out. Likely if you two lived in the same place around the corner from each other, it wouldn't have worked out either. She didn't owe you anything, and you didn't owe her anything. It just didn't work out. You would not have realized that had you still only known the online person, without matching that up with the real person, in real time.

And regardless of how you met each other, and how you got to know her, and her you, you are still in the same place. To me, it doesn't look like it was going to be a relationship that would work out, from what you said. I also get the impression that your expectations were too great, and you expected too much from her. It sounds like you were more committed than she was, and while she was (obviously) interested in you, she was not in the same place that you were. That you argued all the time, and demanded answers to questions, plus the drama, and her friends being influential in her decisions, really all adds up to not great indicators of a relationship that has long term potential.

But you tried, right? You went with the information and knowledge you learned about her, and six months of chatting, took that next step to meet in person, and things just didn't work out. Adding distance to a relationship doesn't help either. Even if everything had worked out perfectly, eventually, when you met, the other shoe had to drop, and as hard as it is, for whatever reason, she made the decision she did, and to me, on the outside looking in, does not seem to be a person that is either compatible enough, or mature enough, to make a commitment to you. At least not in the same way you were prepared to make a commitment to her.

At the very least, try to establish some distance between you, by not contacting her, and not accepting messages through her, by her friends. Allow yourself some uninterrupted time, just for yourself, to really reflect on what has happened, and where it will realistically, likely end up. If, by maintaining contact in any way, figure out if your needs are being met, and if it is worth the heartbreak to keep this going. You can't live on hope and a promise of anything, the least of which is commitment that does not materialize from another person.

[gara]

Jake Guess What You Was Right , The **** Turn it out , Exaclty what you said , Thank God I Didn't Do any stupid move Like Calling Her, Thanks Jake For every thing

[ironhide262]

Gara , your story is very similar to mine in many ways.
Jake2008 is giving you some incredible advice.

I have to say that looking back on my relationship with my ex, after months of being broken up, I really didn't know her as well as I thought. This was after over a year of chatting with each other. The impression I got of her after all these long chat sessions( mostly every day) really eclipsed all the signals and flags that I was getting when we finally met and she was probably the same way as well. There is simply no substitute for getting to know someone face to face over time. The distance of course just compounded everything.

Live and learn. (Sighh!)

[talaniman]

For most of us, life is full of broken hearts, and unexpected twists and turns. We just move forward and try to leave the past alone with its confusion and drama, and build a life we are happy with, until the next adventure starts all over again.