[Snoogums]

My daughter gave me a black eye today. We all live together in a house with a guest house attached. Her father and I live in the guest house. She is 31 and has 3 kids, girl 16, boy 9 and boy 14 months. She has had a restraining order against her husband for physical abuse since August and now she wants him back. I have been babysitting for them for 4yrs, 2 without pay. We were paying $600 per month on a $1000 rental to cover utilities and buying half of the groceries. She works 50 hrs weekly. I run the kids to school and back, cook, clean, do laundry. I thought she would pay me when she got her promotion at work. She brings home $3700 a month. That was a year ago. My husband is out of full-time work now, which I'm sure freaks her out. Anyway, she doesn't think my time is worth $600 a month so she says we are not contributing. She needs her husband back. I told her when he left this time, I couldn't live here if he came back. So, I said O.K. then. We will be saving our unemployment $ to move, and she needs to get a new sitter as I can't be around her husband. He said he was going to kill me the last time I saw him and has to go to court in January for an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon charge from a bar fight. He has been in trouble with the law twice since then for drunk fighting. So, she got really mad when I said I wasn't giving her any of our unemployment. She said we don't give her money now. I said "You don't think my time is worth anything?" She said, "To cover rent and bills? No!". Now, Ive looked up the going rates, and I work at least 70 hrs a week, counting the time she needs to get ready for work and driving time. I told her to get off my computer and go home and she freaked. She stood up and hit me in the face and said "Get out! Today! I'm calling your mother and telling her to come get your sorry *** out of here today." Kind of silly now, the call your mother thing, but at the time I was getting a black eye and it totally caught me off guard! Now we are all on the lease and that can't happen. We will be leaving. I don't want to be here. I'm going to miss my Grandchildren terribly! I hope they don't get hurt, but what can I do now? This has gotten out of hand.

[sunshinechild69]

You need a 3rd party to help you in this. Maybe family counseling? Obviously there are some respect issues and things like this should never happen, no matter the circumstances. A counselor could also help you come up with the solutions for the money issues as well. Good luck

[Tryngtohelp]

Call protective services. She hit you and she's trying to bring another abusive parent into the household. Nothing good will come out of it, you need to do what you can to make sure things don't continue that way so her kids/your grandkids stay safe

[talaniman]

Yes this is is way out of hand, and somebody better leave to diffuse the violence before it escalates. Not only do you need financial counseling, but some family counseling as well as there can be no working together through honest communications, with tensions so high that it leads to hollering and hitting. You can work out compensations, and details later, but for now separate, until you can talk to each other.