[KimmyKhaos]

Just wondering I heard it and now I am confused

[mareadiva]

BDSM stands for Bondage Domination Sado Masochism, it's a cruel or painful kind of sexual prefernce people who indulge in this either like to give or receive pain, people into this often carry whips chains, tie up their partners whip them humiliate them basically it's a depraved sexual fetish or prefernce, not one that highly recommended.

[Enigma1999]

How old are you Kimmy?

[Cat1864]

Kimmy, Enigma is quite correct that we need your age to be able to answer your question.

Mareadiva, due to age restrictrictions on the Adult Sexuality board, we try not to answer questions until we know how old the person we are responding to is.

[KimmyKhaos]

I'm 23. My boyfriend brought it up last night at dinner and I felt slightly stupid that I diddnt have a clue about what it was

[Enigma1999]

First of all, you shouldn't feel stupid for not knowing what that is. Some people don't know what it is.

Also, if you are going to be n a relationship, you should be able to feel comfortable enough to ask your boyfriend what something is, if you aren't quite sure.

The first poster pretty much summed up what it means.

Is this something that your boyfriend wants to experience with you?

[Cat1864]

Kimmy, thank you for responding.

Mareadiva was close in what BDSM stands for. It is actually: Bondage, Discipline, and Sado-Masochism.

Obviously, it is not for everyone, but it is not as "cruel" as some people believe. Fuzzy handcuffs, blindfolds, and tickling can be part of the BDSM world. It covers a huge spectrum.

[Enigma1999]

Kimmy, thank you for responding.

Mareadiva was close in what BDSM stands for. It is actually: Bondage, Discipline, and Sado-Masochism.

Obviously, it is not for everyone, but it is not as "cruel" as some people believe. Fuzzy handcuffs, blindfolds, and tickling can be part of the BDSM world. It covers a huge spectrum.

Ah, discipline... I read hers/his so fast that I missed that.

Yes you are correct.

[KimmyKhaos]

He said it was something he did before he met me and that he loved it and wanted to do this with me. Now that I know what it is, I honestly don't know what to do. I mean I would love to get closer to him but I wouldn't know what to do.

[KimmyKhaos]

He said it was something he did before he met me and that he loved it and wanted to do this with me. Now that I know what it is, I honestly don't know what to do. I mean I would love to get closer to him but I wouldn't know what to do.

[Cat1864]

Kimmy, at the bottom of the page is an Answer box for replying to the thread. It gives you more room to type. You don't have to respond to each post especially to say the same thing.

How long have you been dating your boyfriend and how old is he? The most important question is: Do you trust him and does he trust you?

On the topic, I am going to say that you should never feel obligated or forced to do something you aren't comfortable with or unsure of. That goes for ALL forms of sex and sex play. I firmly believe in knowing what you are consenting to when you are a Consenting Adult so open communication is very necessary.

As I said, BDSM covers a wide spectrum of acts and behaviors. It can be very mild to extremely extreme. It all depends on the people involved and their likes and dislikes. Some people practice mild forms and don't even think about it.

Since I don't know your boyfriend's background, you are going to need to talk with him about what he has done and what he expects. Generally speaking, most people who practice BDSM are either Dominant (Tops) or Submissive (Bottoms). Some people do go back and forth and sometimes the Submissive is more dominant than the Top. I, myself, am a Sub (submissive) and my husband is a Dom (dominant).

Regardless of how mild or extreme, the participants should have an agreed upon 'safe word' to use in letting their partner know they have had enough or a line has been crossed. This is part of where trust comes into play. Both people have to trust that the other person will obey/use the safe word. There also has to be trust that both people understand where the boundaries are and will not cross them.

Since there is a lot more that can be written about it and has been, I am going to suggest, if you are interested, reading books by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd (Joan Elizabeth Lloyd's Secrets For Lovers). She writes romance stories/books that cover BDSM. Her focus is more on the sensuality and partnership than the cruelty and harshness that many people think of when talking about BDSM.

If you have more questions, I will be happy to answer what I can.

[KimmyKhaos]

Thank you all so much. I will talk to him about it today.

[Cat1864]

You're welcome. Like I said, if you have any questions, ask. :)

[CravenMorhead]

If you're curious, ask him what it entails and give it a try. If it doesn't do it for you than at least you will know. If it is something that you like then you've found something good.

Don't discount anything based upon it's popular image. You never know what you will like in bed.

[Enigma1999]

I agree with Craven.

You might actually like it. Just make sure that there is communication.

My Husband and I tried all sorts of things. Maybe some dangerous things as well, and we had a lot of communication as well as a safety word. When ever one of us was uncomfortable, we stopped immediately. However, that was a rarity to stop.

Have fun and enjoy each other.

[smoothy]

Its definitely not my cup of tea or my wife's... but I have known a few women over the years that really got off on it.

Do whatever your heart tells you to do... if you like it, go for it, if you don't just be honest and tell him so.