[TaraMarie]

Hello!

My partner, Mariah, and I live in Texas and we are pregnant with our first child via insemination with a known donor. We had a general contract created, which we understand is null-and-void since it is not a legal document. Mariah and I came into this looking for a DONOR (not a father) and our donor lead us to believe this was his intention. We created several documents outlining what we wanted of our donor, and our donor harassed us into giving in to his demands. (Come to find out, he is a controlling person.) We gave in (which was a bad decision now) and we are now 15 weeks pregnant and blessed! However, our donor is still harassing us trying to control our decisions regarding our family. He wants to go to Dr's apt's (NO), he wants to be there for the birth (NO), he wants us to live at his house for the first few weeks after the baby is born (NO), so on and so forth. I believe our donor wants to be a co-parent, rather than a donor. Mariah and I understand that, as a "parent", he has rights... However, he is not willing to pay for anything, he wants complete control over everything and is being a jerk to us when things don't go his way. We have cut the ties to him for now and only communicate when vital. I have questions though, for after my baby is born... Should we seek legal custody prior to birth (or is that stupid since the baby isn't here yet), do I legally have to put him on the birth certificate? If I DON'T put him on the birth certificate, does he still have rights as the "father"? Sorry, these may be stupid questions, but I'm not sure of the answers and I'm scared that my baby is being born into more drama than He (Yep, JUST found out we're having a boy!) can only imagine... Any advice on what to do? Thank you in advance for all of your help!!

Tara

[excon]

Hello T:

Without a legal agreement (and who says the one you have isn't legal?), he's the father with all the rights that any father has. He also has all the obligations too. That means he's going to be ordered to pay child support until your son is 18 and maybe even longer...

DON'T wait till your child is born before you hire a family lawyer. Hire one TOMORROW. HE can arrange the adoption, and HE can scare the donor into leaving you alone.

excon

[Fr_Chuck]

You needed to have used a sperm bank where the father is unknown. He may well have rights to child visits, partial custody and more. You may have a right to child support also.

The adoption laws are often not keeping up with society and what it is doing, Since he is a known father, he may have rights to nulify any private agreement prior to the child being born. ( similar to many adoption agreements)

You will need an attorney in this, most likely it will end up in family court.