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    StacyPorter's Avatar
    StacyPorter Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 9, 2010, 03:25 PM
    Child Support is half of take home pay... how are we supposed to live on that?
    My boyfriend's divorce was finalized yesterday. His ex lied to him about when the court date was... so that she could go and do what she wanted to do. She went before the judge and took old income information, which there by raised his child support. He is now paying $1300/mo. For child support, which is half of his pay for the month. His ex does not have a job, gets food stamps, and is getting some kind of student aid for going to school. We believe that she is lying to get more money for her to live on through the government. It seems very unfair that my boyfriend has to work really hard to support HER and he can't even pay his bills.

    Any sugesstions? We are already considering going to court to get custody of the kids... but that is going to cost money too! I know that if she took false information about his income to court, we can get that adjusted. But, will she be in trouble for lying to the judge?
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #2

    Nov 9, 2010, 03:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by StacyPorter View Post
    My boyfriend's divorce was finalized yesterday. His ex lied to him about when the court date was....so that she could go and do what she wanted to do. She went before the judge and took old income information, which there by raised his child support. He is now paying $1300/mo. for child support, which is half of his pay for the month. His ex does not have a job, gets food stamps, and is getting some kind of student aid for going to school. We believe that she is lying to get more money for her to live on through the government. It seems very unfair that my boyfriend has to work really hard to support HER and he can't even pay his bills.

    Any sugesstions? We are already considering going to court to get custody of the kids...but that is going to cost money too! I know that if she took false information about his income to court, we can get that adjusted. But, will she be in trouble for lying to the judge?
    Something's not right here. $1,300 for only two children? Are you sure there wasn't an issue with arrears or spousal support? Where are you located? And you comment that this is half of "take home pay" - support is based off gross pay, not net pay.

    Your boyfriend is going to need pretty good grounds to get custody changed now that it's been established.

    No, she won't get in trouble for "lying" to the judge - it was your boyfriend's job to show up for court. He didn't, so they used the information they had on hand.

    If his income is substantially lower than the income amount they based child support on, he needs to file to have support reduced.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
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    #3

    Nov 9, 2010, 04:42 PM

    I have problems with the way this reads also. His ex has nothing to do with the court date. He should have been served and from the sounds of it he chose to ignore it. Now he's having to pay the price for it. Also he should have already known what the court papers say well in advance of any court date. So by him not going it means he agreed to it.

    If he wants changes then HE is the one that needs to make them or he needs to stop whining. He did this to himself.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Nov 9, 2010, 06:10 PM

    First sorry the court gives him notice, not his ex tells him when it is, if he did not go, that is his own fault.

    After that if the info was wrong, he needs to file with the court the correct info
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #5

    Nov 11, 2010, 09:27 AM

    His ex lied to him about when the court date was...
    This sounds very irregular. Wasn't he himself notified by the court when to appear?
    She went before the judge and took old income information, which there by raised his child support.
    He can file a motion to have the order modified based on faulty information. But he'll have to demonstrate that he was not properly served with a notice to appear the first time around as this was presumably a default judgment based on his failure to appear. He'll also need to demonstrate that his income is substantially lower than that which the original support order was based on and that there are no foreseeable prospects for his income to return to its former level and that it was originally lowered due to circumstances beyond his control. And yes, it souds like the mother is guilty of perjury, if in fact she purposely prevented your boyfriend from appearing in court and knowingly supplied false income information. Whether the court will actually prosecute her for it is another issue.
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #6

    Nov 11, 2010, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by s_cianci View Post
    This sounds very irregular. Wasn't he himself notified by the court when to appear? He can file a motion to have the order modified based on faulty information. But he'll have to demonstrate that he was not properly served with a notice to appear the first time around as this was presumably a default judgment based on his failure to appear. He'll also need to demonstrate that his income is substantially lower than that which the original support order was based on and that there are no foreseeable prospects for his income to return to its former level and that it was originally lowered due to circumstances beyond his control. And yes, it souds like the mother is guilty of perjury, if in fact she purposely prevented your boyfriend from appearing in court and knowingly supplied false income information. Whether or not the court will actually prosecute her for it is another issue.
    Do you make a habit of not reading what is posted and then answer a question with wrong information? This is the second time today.

    The mother did not use "false" income information - she used "old" income. He may have had a job change and due to his non-appearance, the court based child support off the information readily at hand. This is not perjury and even if it was, no judge is going to prosecute her for it. Not in the slightest.
    StacyPorter's Avatar
    StacyPorter Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 13, 2011, 08:34 AM
    Comment on this8384's post
    Here's some facts:
    This was an uncontested divorce... but she is friend's with the judge. So, when she showed up in court, she said that she wanted to make amendments and the judge was very happy to oblige. I don't know how that is legal..?
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    #8

    Jan 13, 2011, 08:35 AM
    Comment on this8384's post
    Fact:
    She called and told us that she took the old information into court on purpose.
    StacyPorter's Avatar
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    #9

    Jan 13, 2011, 08:37 AM
    Comment on this8384's post
    Fact:
    Because the divorce was uncontested, there was no notification of court date. But he still wanted to be there to make sure that all went smoothly.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #10

    Jan 13, 2011, 08:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by StacyPorter View Post
    Fact:
    Becuase the divorce was uncontested, there was no notification of court date.
    Hello Stacy:

    If there was no notification, how did the wife know about it? THAT fact would be of interest.

    excon
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #11

    Jan 13, 2011, 08:43 AM

    Quote Originally Posted by StacyPorter
    Here's some facts:
    This was an uncontested divorce...but she is friend's with the judge. So, when she showed up in court, she said that she wanted to make ammendments and the judge was very happy to oblige. I don't know how that is legal...??
    She can be friends with Pee-Wee Herman; won't make a difference. Your boy-toy didn't show up for the hearing, which resulted in a default judgment/divorce. She could ask for the moon and because he didn't show, the judge could give it to her. Well, not literally... but you get my point.

    Quote Originally Posted by StacyPorter
    Fact:
    She called and told us that she took the old information into court on purpose.
    Fact: I still don't care. It was HIS job to show up and provide his current income information. She took what she had and frankly, I would have done the same. If you're too lazy to show up to court, then I'm not going to run around making sure everything is working out in your best interest.

    Quote Originally Posted by StacyPorter
    Fact:
    Becuase the divorce was uncontested, there was no notification of court date. But he still wanted to be there to make sure that all went smoothly.
    Fact: you have no idea how the court system works. In order for the divorce to be uncontested, BOTH parties have to be notified of the divorce and agree to the terms. Your boyfriend chose not to show up or take the time to make sure he knew what was happening in HIS divorce. He's lazy, that's the bottomline.

    And let me guess: it's been 2 full months since you last posted, and he has done NONE of what we advised - filed for modification, filed a motion with the court stating he was never aware of the divorce proceedings, etc. Correct?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #12

    Jan 13, 2011, 09:20 AM

    I'd like to point out that you live on that by getting second jobs, cutting your budget down to a bare minimum, and learning to like ramen noodles.

    If HE (not you--this has NOTHING to do with YOU) wants this modified, he needs to get a LAWYER and go to COURT.

    Until then, it IS his responsibility to provide for his children through child support. People who do not do so are called "dead beat parents" and in my opinion shouldn't be allowed to ever have MORE children because they don't take care of the ones they already brought into the world. But... that last part is just my opinion, obviously.
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #13

    Jan 13, 2011, 09:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    I'd like to point out that you live on that by getting second jobs, cutting your budget down to a bare minimum, and learning to like ramen noodles.

    If HE (not you--this has NOTHING to do with YOU) wants this modified, he needs to get a LAWYER and go to COURT.

    Until then, it IS his responsibility to provide for his children through child support. People who do not do so are called "dead beat parents" and in my opinion shouldn't be allowed to ever have MORE children because they don't take care of the ones they already brought into the world. But...that last part is just my opinion, obviously.
    But his ex-wife told him it was the wrong date, even though there was no notification! And she's friends with the judge so she can do whatever she wants and not get in trouble! Clearly, her boyfriend has done absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever!

    *sarcasm button off*

    Do you know how HAPPY I'd be to take home $1,300 each month? Gee whiz...
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #14

    Jan 13, 2011, 10:04 AM

    And he's obviously such a moral, upstanding guy, since he was dating the OP before his divorce was final... so, dating while still married.
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #15

    Jan 13, 2011, 10:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    And he's obviously such a moral, upstanding guy, since he was dating the OP before his divorce was final....so, dating while still married.
    Clearly, also not his fault. Just as the failed marriage is not his fault, him having to pay child support is not his fault, and him not showing up for the divorce proceedings is not his fault.

    In another year, this will be the woman on the relationship board complaining about what a deadbeat father her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend is and how he ruined THEIR relationship because of his issues.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
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    #16

    Jan 13, 2011, 04:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Synnen View Post
    I'd like to point out that you live on that by getting second jobs, cutting your budget down to a bare minimum, and learning to like ramen noodles.
    Truthfully, I wouldn't be running out to get a second job until I knew how the law treated it. It is BOTH parents responsibility but the courts have long viewed dads as just a walking wallet. So in getting a second job then even more child support can be ordered and the money still goes elsewhere. Just the simple fact that it is called child support doesn't mean its going to be used to the child's benefit. Until they change the system of accounting and accountability its foolish to think you can make anything up by getting a second job. The change in tax brackets along with the added child support could turn out to lots of work with zero added income.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #17

    Jan 13, 2011, 04:47 PM

    Got to spread the rep, but you have a good point, Califdadof3.

    You can still budget the rest of the stuff, though :)

    I just wanted to point out that $1300 a month is more than MANY people make a month, and that's before counting in the OP's wages too. I bet that even AFTER child support, the OP and her boyfriend have a higher monthly income than my husband and I do--and we can live just fine on that. As a matter of fact, we lived just fine (though it was frustrating at times) on a COMBINED income of $1300 a month.

    So... I guess my question back to the OP is this: How much do you think it takes to take care of two children for a month?
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #18

    Jan 14, 2011, 07:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    Truthfully, I wouldnt be running out to get a second job until I knew how the law treated it. It is BOTH parents responsibility but the courts have long viewed dads as just a walking wallet. So in getting a second job then even more child support can be ordered and the money still goes elsewhere. Just the simple fact that it is called child support doesnt mean its going to be used to the childs benefit. Until they change the system of accounting and accountability its foolish to think you can make anything up by getting a second job. The change in tax brackets along with the added child support could turn out to lots of work with zero added income.
    Agreed - the commissioner who presided over my husband's divorce and also one of our friend's has an infamous response whenever the NCP complains that their support is set too high. He looks them dead in the eye and says, "Then get a second job." Which is rather ridiculous because a)that leaves even LESS time to spend with the child(ren) and b)depending on how many children the order is supporting, 17-31% of THAT income will also be factored into support. Who in their right mind would get a second job just to give away a third of it and still have to pay taxes on the full amount?

    I do see Synn's side of it as well - the exwife is now telling the kids that she has to get rid of their cats because she "can't afford to feed them anymore." Never you mind that she's forking over $700/month for her minivan... she can't afford the cats because she pays my husband $68/week in child support. If you want the nicer things in life, then you have to work for them. Claiming your child support is too high isn't going to make me feel bad for you; you had a kid, the kid comes first - period.

    And again - I certainly don't take home $1,300 a month. Hell, I barely GROSS $1,300 a month. I'd like to know what kind of extravagant life she and this "man"(and I use that term loosely) are living that they can't live off $1,300 when she should be out there working a job too and contributing to the household.

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