[m.p.2010]

Hi

I am a 19 year old University student. My grandfather passed away recently after which, my mother unlawfully read his will. She discovered that she was cut out, but that he had left me $9,000, and the rest of his money was to be divided up between the remaining siblings. I discovered that before he passed away, he gave my mother $20,000 for my college education, which she kept a secret. Presently, she tried to get my 9,000 transferred into her account before I got it, but I stopped her. She has been terrible to me, and made horrible comments that that money is "hers" and that he had specified that money was for "my education". It does not state this in the will, and everything she says is not based on anything factual. To sum up, she now says I have to pay for my college education, or at least spend every last penny of the money I have inherited, and then she will continue paying for my education. I am bitter because I will not get to enjoy the money I have rightfully inherited, or even invest it to protect my future. My mother is in no financial need, and what she is doing is out of jealousy.
Do you advise me to hand over the money without putting up a fight, or should I perhaps try to fund my own college (If I am paying anyway, I may as well try to classify at the university as independent, to get cheaper rates)? Who do you believe is in the wrong?
m.p.

[joypulv]

Presumably your mother has been paying your tuition so far? 20K doesn't go far even if you are in a state school, if room and board are involved, so although the 9K is certainly yours it's quite possible that the 20K is or will be gone soon and she could decide to let you wing it from now on as she's threatened. If he just gave her the 20K with no formalities she can pretty much do what she wants, even keep it a secret.
You need to weigh your emotional options (getting along with your mother) more than any legal ones, I think, as well as to get practical with the costs of education and living.
He can't have thought she was a conniving person if he trusted her with the education funds, and he may have bypassed her in his will merely because she doesn't need the money and his grandkids do? But we don't know the whole family dynamic as you might.
After finding out what costs would be at school if you were on your own, it would be ideal if you could sit down with her and talk things out. I know that isn't always easy.