[Seraizdaprincess]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years... we're only 3 months away from our 2 year anniversary. We share an apartment together and are generally pretty happy. In the past year and a half, I have never worried about him cheating, and I've trusted him whole heartedly. However, the past couple months, it seems like he's lying more and more. The first lie was about looking at internet porn... he insisted that he wasn't, even though I found it on the computer, and he later confessed. This is the biggest lie though... I dropped him off downtown for a "night with the guys", and I just had a strange feeling... and I knew something wasn't right. I got home and checked our cell phone records, and realized he'd been calling and texting this number a lot, and it was a nubmer I didn't recognize. Well, long story short, it's a girl who he had been friends with over a year ago, but they lost contact. She recently went to his parents house and told his Mom that she wanted to date my boyfriend. So, he was going behind my back and talking to this girl, and tried covering it up by deleting her calls off the call list and deleting all the text messages... and when I confronted him about it, he told me he didn't know who it was, and then he said a friend from work, then he went back to "I dont know", and finally an old friend, and then the truth came out that it was this girl. He told me that he will never talk to her again, and that he is sorry... but that doesn't make me feel much better. How am I supposed to trust him again? And who's to say that if I forgive him now, next time, it won't be something even worse? He didn't cheat... but he lied and tried to deceive me. What do I do? I'm constantly wondering if he's lying about something else, or waiting for the other ball to drop, so to speak... I just don't know what to do to get over this.

[talaniman]

I would have to get away from him for a while and reevaluate this relationship before it can go any farther. Maybe he has learned his lesson, maybe not. I can't tell from here but you need some space before you can get into what the next step will be. Yor decision to make, so know your feelings and ask yourself honestly is it worth it to always be suspicious and mistrustful. You can't change him, but he can and if he doesn't want to..?

[Kryc]

People lie because they don't want to get into trouble. The bigger the lie usually the guiltier the person feels. So when he wouldn't come clean about who it was means he felt guilty about it. Trust is a hard thing to regain with someone. Talaniman has the right idea take a break and think about what you want. The biggest thing is do what makes you happy.

[s2tp]

It sounds like taking a break would work for both of you. Why would he feel the need to hide and deny a 'just a friend'? He was obviously thinking about her and feeling guilty when you confronted him.

It seems as though a break would allow both of you a chance to reflect on your relationship together and decide if it really is what each other wants.

If you want to get through this, you both need to communicate more and he needs to take steps to reassure you that nothing was happening with her, and that he chooses you...

Best Wishes