[beccasayswhaa]

I've been grounded for three months now, because my parents found out I had sex with my boyfriend behind their backs.
I've been stuck in the house, with pretty much no means of real communication with any of my friends, especially my boyfriend.
So, I've been noticing an increase in bonding between my long-time best friend, Rachael, and my boyfriend of almost five months, John. John's always talking about her when I do get to see him, they're always together, they flirt a lot, according to my other friends, they talk on the phone for hours at a time, John admitted to me that he found her more attractive than me, and that he had feelings for her, and she admitted she had a bit of a crush on him. John keeps reassuring me that he loves me a lot more than her, he can't see himself ever being with her, etc. but I can't help but feel insecure. My other friend Tim informed me this weekend of a situation where John and Rachael slept in the same bed, talking and giggling and cuddling the entire time. It sucks. I think he would choose me over her if I was around, but I can't be sure.
It's really confusing, because if he really does like her that much, I would want him to be with her, because I want him to be happy. I know Rachael would be happy with a guy like John. The only problem I see with their relationship is that John's a sex addict and Rachael hates hates hates sex.
I told him what I thought about it, and I told him to dump me and go out with her. His response was, "Umm, I want you but I can't be with you Becca, and if I did want Rachael that much I would go with her but I love you, YOU, you're my best friend and I can't imagine us being any other way. I love BECCA so much and why can't you believe me?" I replied, "Actions speak louder than words." He sent back, "Becca I admit I still do have feelings for her but I love you so much. I always have a good time with Rachael and other people, but when it's just me and her it's awkward and we have nothing to talk about. When it's just me and you, we have a blast just by ourselves. We could be the only people in the world and we could still have fun." He seems sincere, right? Why can't I believe anything he says?

[rebeccahstrean]

Hmmmm... well... I think that if he really loves you and wants to be with you then friends or NOT he shouldn't be laying or even cuddling with your/his friend Rachael. I think that He loves you but its not a sincere relationship. How old are you? You need to just sit the both of them down and communicate with them and then YOU come to a conclusion.

[talaniman]

You can't believe him because you are grounded, out of the loop, and filled with stories from well intended friends (at your urging I suspect ). Plus you said he was a sex addict, and he can't get that from you now, can he?? Your all friends so get the facts from them both.

[mmresd]

It would be nice to know the ages of these people, but at our age (13-19) most guys are after one thing, sex, it doesn't make him an addict (take it from an actual sex-addict) :). It seems to me as if he just wants you for your body, and that is why he is saying that he loves you. Him and this other girl might be starting to feel things toward each other and "might" eventually develop into a sexual relationship, or maybe not considering that Rachael hates sex (which I find hard to believe, since she is human... ). But on the other hand, he has you, someone who is down to do whatever he needs to do or at least has been down to do it in the past. So think about this guy and how he is treating you, you are an accessory to him, it seems like he has used you, and now worst of all, you are in trouble for it! Go find someone who respects you as a lady and who isn't just interested in fulfilling his carnal needs. The reason why you are not able to believe what he is saying is because deep down you KNOW that he is bull****ting you, so stop letting him do that to you. (Pardon my french).

Good Luck,

Javi