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ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 03:46 PM

Cadillac59... Actually my boyfriend was arrested on child abandonment charges a few months ago. He never took a paternity test or anything. A girl said that the baby was his and since he never claimed the baby or went with her to take a test a warrant was issued and he was arrested. While I feel for the mother to a certain extent, I don't understand how he was arrested on what basically turns out to be her word against his, well kind of... He never said a word. Furthermore he never met the baby or wanted anything to do with the mom. Don't you have to leave someone to abandon them? I don't know what my question is exactly, I'm just confused as hell on the whole matter...

cdad · Oct 15, 2010, 04:00 PM

The person you are addressing hasn't posted here in a long time.

As far as why he got arrested?

If he ignored court orders to appear they would have issued a bench warrant for him and then arrested him until he complies. That's only one of many reasons.

ScottGem · Oct 15, 2010, 04:06 PM

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. Especially not a sticky note. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

You didn't supply all the details, but I suspect I can fill them in. Your boyfriend was ordered by a court to submit to a paternity test. He did not show at the appointed time, maybe ignoring several appointments. Basically he defied a court order. Whatever made him think that he could get away with that and ignore the court?

And if he is the father of that child, what makes him think he can abandon his responsibility to that child? He needs to wake up and smell the coffee. He needs to understand that when you drop your pants you take risks.

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:08 PM

I got you and that makes total sense. Besides taking a paternity test, what are some things that he should do to put a better light on himself from the courts perspective? Should he sign away all rights? He wants nothing to do with the situation.

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:09 PM

He is willing to pay child support but is so angry now that he refuses to be proactive which I am advocating!!

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:12 PM

I totally agree with you scott. He is willing to pay child support. I personally spoke to the mother and she is demanding he be a part of her sons life! While I can't help her with that I am making sure that he does what he should on his end.

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:14 PM

Monetarily speaking anyway.

cdad · Oct 15, 2010, 04:14 PM

He needs to be proactive if he wants a future. Unless he likes jail food. No he can't sign his rights away. He can allow the mother to have full custody in both legal and physical. But he's still on the hook for support and other expenses.

What he needs to do is start thinking ahead. And don't play the system but work within it. If the child is his he may change his mind at some point too. Be aware and accepting of that.

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:16 PM

I actually told him that as well. He may think it's a good idea now but what a great regret that may be later. What are some ways that he should be proactive? I'm here to help...

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:17 PM

However, I can't find a lot of information on this particular type of abandonment.

ScottGem · Oct 15, 2010, 04:25 PM

First, please don't use the comments to post follow-up, use the Answer options.

He can't sign over his rights. Basically what he needs to do is man up and take responsibility for his actions. He doesn't have to be a part of the child's life if he doesn't want to, but he will be required to support the child. He needs to make an appointment for the paternity test and follow any orders the court issues. Then he needs to pay whatever the court orders for support.

It would be nice if he doesn't turn his back on the child, but then his immaturity probably disqualifies him as a good father.

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:40 PM

It seems as though I am offending you personally Scott. Like I said before, he is willing to pay support. Thank you for your answers and your unwarranted opinions. Perhaps there is someone more mature than you on this site that can give me some more insight. Clearly you are a bit sensitive on this issue. And maybe for good reason. Oh and sorry for answering and entering questions in the wrong boxes, this is my 1st time on this site. : )

ConfusednCobb · Oct 15, 2010, 04:44 PM

Furthermore, he asked about signing over his rights because he just wants to. Not because he is trying to avoid child support. Everyone understands that! It has to be paid no if, and's or but's about it! Court is set for December and he will definitely be there this time!

cdad · Oct 15, 2010, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by ConfusednCobb

It seems as though I am offending you personally Scott. Like I said before, he is willing to pay support. Thank you for your answers and your unwarranted opinions. Perhaps there is someone more mature than you on this site that can give me some more insight. Clearly you are a bit sensitive on this issue. And maybe for good reason. Oh and sorry for answering and entering questions in the wrong boxes, this is my 1st time on this site. : )

Please understand that we all volunteer here. We are not paid to do this. Scott is a respected member here and in good standing. He also is in charge of policing the site. He wasn't attacking you nor your boyfriend.

The problem comes in understanding the question. When you talk about signing over rights; see this sticky posting.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html

Its very different then just not wanting to be involved with the child. And we get so many here asking about signing over rights that when we read it we have to assume this is what is being talked about.

Also to complicate your case is you are here on someone else's behalf. So any advice going to you as far as a recommendation of some kind is really going to be for him.

That being said he really needs to make some decisions as to where he wants all this to go. And anything he gives up now can haunt him later. So we need to be careful we are all on the same page but as written words its sometimes hard to convey.

ScottGem · Oct 15, 2010, 05:25 PM

First, You haven't offended me, but your description about your boyfriend has. He has ignored a court order. Why else would he dodge the paternity test and defy a court order? So he tells you he is willing to pay support but his actions speak louder than his words. I do, however, applaud you for trying to make sure he stands up to his responsibilities and for sticking by him.

Second, your attempts to insult me fall short. I suspect that my analysis of the situation struck too close to home so you had to lash out at me. I think you will find that the other regulars on this site will respond similarly to the way I have.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 15, 2010, 07:23 PM

If you want touchy feel good answers go to the relationship board, we give plain legal answers here and view them on the info given.

As stated, doing nothing, often is a sign of a dead beat dad, sorry if he is not, perhaps he avoided the court order for some other reason. But it appears he thought if he avoided the court order they could not do anything, ( which was what you seem to state in your question, on how can they)

In Georgia, where I am at ( atlanta) abandoment is where you have failed to pay child support, and they will lock a person up quickly here if they avoid the court. If he merely shows up, shows how he is planning on paying, perhaps signs a garnishment ( court most likely going to get one anyway) and that he will take responsibility.

Now he does have the right to a DNA test and may ask the court for one, he could or should have done that when she first asked, but if he merely does nothing, she will always win since she shows up in court.