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skylmoe · Oct 15, 2010, 10:59 AM

Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend after being together for almost 3 years. It will actually be 3 years November 18th which is making this so much harder. We were best friends with each other before going out. And we have all the same friends. I don't want it to just be awkward when we hang out with everyone :( and I feel as though everyone is taking his side because I broke up with him. Ever since the break up, which was 3 days ago, he has gone out with friends, to dinners and movies and I'm the one sitting at home and crying myself to sleep... he says he is devastated because of what I've done. He also says he still loves me with all of his heart.
The reasons for the breakup were that we fought a lot and I just felt we were growing apart... I feel so horrible :( and I feel as though I've made a mistake but all my family and friends are saying it was for the best...
I'm just venting ha. Not really asking a question.
But can someone help? Please?
:( thanks

adam_89 · Oct 15, 2010, 11:07 AM

I broke up with my girlfriend not to long ago because I thought we were growing apart and it just wasn't fixable. I was wrong after I did so and we talked and tried working it out and are together and happy as ever. I wish I didn't do it and it was a mistake. Did you even try to fix it or did you just think it was time to call it quits? Do you still love him and want to be with him?

Allie602 · Oct 15, 2010, 11:20 AM

Are you sure you made a sincere effort to resolve things before breaking up? I ask this because it sounds like you broke up with him because of the conflict not because you tried but failed to resolve things. Is this true, did you try to resolve things but failed to do so before you made the final decision to leave? I understand that conflict would make you want to leave. But it can also bring two people together if you try to work through the conflicts. You can never avoid fights if the relationship is healthy so you will not escape conflict if it is the only reason you left.

Look at why you two fought and how you resolved things, if at all, and look at your role honestly in the failure of the relationship. You don't want to repeat the same mistakes. You did not say if you still loved him. 3 yrs is a long time do you think you gave up too easily? t

answerme_tender · Oct 15, 2010, 11:54 AM

So what upsets you the most, that you broke up with him, or that he doesn't appear to be as heart broken as you want him to be?
You need to re-examine why you broke up in the first place. Don't let being up set and lonely cloud your thinking. Are those reasons still valid? Are they something that you can work out?
Only you can decide what to do, with no influence from others.

skylmoe · Oct 15, 2010, 02:12 PM

Comment on adam_89's post
well I had broke up with him about a year ago and we separated for 2 months and I ended up asking him back out because I thought I made a mistake, but now it just seemed like it was the same story when I broke up with him the 1st time. I love him =/

Comment on answerme_tender's post
probably that he doesn't seem as heart broken as me. And it really sucks. I don't think I can work it out because I've been giving him chances throughout the past 3 yrs. So this time I thought I had to end it...

Comment on Allie602's post
throughout the past 3 yrs, I've given him so many chances and this time I told him it was the last straw... so I ended it. And now I'm heart broken, and he doesn't really seem like he is. I don't know if he really is or not though. But it sucks

and yes, I told him I loved him 5 months after we started going out... and I still do

answerme_tender · Oct 15, 2010, 02:24 PM

You can love someone and still know that they aren't the right person for you. That's when you make a decision to move on for no other reason except that it's the best thing for YOU! You owe no one explanation as to why you make that choice. Keep in mind that you cannot change someone nor can you expect them to change because you give them an ultimatum.
Get out with your friends and family, try not to go same places he maybe. Stick with no contact.

talaniman · Oct 15, 2010, 06:16 PM

You broke up, now leave him, and his life alone, and build a life you are happy with. That means different friends, and activities from him.

Find your own thing to do, and don't look back for a second.

brightongirl · Sep 28, 2011, 05:10 PM

OMG it is like we are twins because the same thing happened to me, except this year. Weirdly enough it would have been our third year this November too. I broke up with him, all he does is go out with friends he made and I am all alone. Our mutual friends - well the boys took his side, and the girls go where the boys go. How did it all work out for you? Any advice on starting fresh because I have no one.

talaniman · Sep 28, 2011, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by brightongirl

OMG it is like we are twins because the exact same thing happened to me, except this year. Weirdly enough it would have been our third year this november too. I broke up with him, all he does is go out with friends he made and I am all alone. Our mutual friends - well the boys took his side, and the girls go where the boys go. How did it all work out for you? Any advice on starting fresh because I have no one.

This is an old closed post. Can I invite you to post your own experience and get some feedback?