[chickito]

When I got with my fiancée I left my friends and all the parties to make her happy..

She flirted with some guy and talked to her ex and lied to me about it I forgave her and as usual it still bugs me in the inside of my heart even though its been a while..

She just told me she doesn't feel the spark she felt when we had first got together but she still loves me and wants to be with me what could I do or how could I help her feel that again


Edited for spelling, grammar, and understanding/T

[JudyKayTee]

Why is this posted under music?

Have you asked her why she doesn't feel the same spark BUT still wants to be with you? She's your fiancé, you plan to marry, you should be able to talk to each other.

You can't make someone else do anything they don't want to do - and that includes loving you.

Has her behavior toward you changed or is it only the words that have you wondering?

[chickito]

I tlked to her and her behaviour started changing for since the past week I don't know if its because me kus I'm always telling her about what happened or its her who just getting tired she said she loves me and don't want to let me go but she don't feel de same its to hard to explain and hopefully you kud give me a hint or an opinio on what I should do

[JudyKayTee]

I'd stop badgering her about her past behavior, You either live with what happened or walk away.

[answerme_tender]

You are her fiancée, not judge and jury. Her past is just that, Her past, and none your business. Just like your past is your business. Either grow up and be a man that she is going to be proud to marry, or continue being an immature little boy who will lose her.

[talaniman]

You can start by communicating and stop letting what happened in the past affect you now. If the way you post is any indication of the way you communicate then that's a serious problem.

How old are you both, and how long have you been together? Why are you even forgiving her if you constantly throw it in her face?

Neither of you is ready to get married, if you can't talk, and act like honest adults.

[Jake2008]

I think that if the relationship has developed to a point where the two of you have planned to be married, then you certainly do need answers to your concerns. To carry doubts about the person you should love unconditionally, and trust unconditionally, the way you have, won't suddenly change, after you are married. No one can judge whether your concerns and reactions to them, are with, or without merit. But, what you risk by carrying these doubts and 'faults' will, if not dealt with and put to rest, ruin your relationship.

You may be right in having doubts, or, you may be wrong. How are you going to know if you and your fiancé do not talk the issues out. Letting one thing just go, for example her talking to her ex, may not be an issue any longer for her, but that she lied about it, is still an issue for you. That means she has broken your trust, and you need to not be brushed off with how you feel about it.

The problem arises, and gets larger than life, when one party does not respect the feelings and concers of the other. It is left unresolved (for whatever reason), and not put to rest.

So while you still need answers, she is getting weary of providing them. If you cannot accept what she says as the truth, she will feel she is forever repeating herself over a non-issue, or issues. She will also wonder, what's the point, if she's done nothing wrong, and you just won't let it go.

On the other hand, maybe she continues to lie, or instinct is telling you that if she has lied about the ex, what else has she lied about. She cracked the trust between you. But, does that make her the target, of all your doubts and insecurities? If it does, and you cannot let go, and move past the two issues you have mentioned, you will forever be suspicious of her.

If you need to go to couples counselling in order to put not only the issues to rest, but to find ways of dealing with issues, then do it. You could learn something about yourself in the process, and she too, could learn that she's not the devil incarnate to you because you have over reacted to minor events.

If you don't do something, and carry on and marry her, both of you will still face the same crossroads when something comes up. And if you can't handle the minor problems, how on earth will you manage the bigger issues.