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scl2009 · Oct 13, 2010, 05:39 PM

I have a ? About abandonment. Me and my husbend split apart and I had the kids for the week I took them to him and had a virble agreement in front of the cops in wi and on that Sunday when I was suppose to get them back my husbend took my kids on me and went back to ny. I have been out here in wi. Trying to get treatment for my thyroid and talk to my kids every night almost now have I abandoned my kids because he is saying I have.

ballengerb1 · Oct 13, 2010, 05:54 PM

This is not abandonement and he is just trying to be hard on you. He took them out of state withpout your permission or knowledge. Are you divorced or what?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 13, 2010, 05:57 PM

There are several types of abandonment, and the meaning is defined by the state law where court actions will take place.

At this time
1. is there any child custody agreements, if not you do know he does not have to let you have them back till you go to court.

a. one meaning is that you leave them at the mall or on the side of the road and just drive off.
b. the other you leave the family and do not have contact with them nor pay for their care if you do not have custody.
*** but on B. this is just something that is used not in criminal court but in child custody court to help the other party get full custody.

So, on both sides, arugements in front of the kids is very bad, and does not look good in court.

At this point, someone ( either you or he) will file in court for custody. If he just moved to NY, he will have to be there long enough to establish residence to file for custody.

If you and he and the kids had lived in WI and you plan on staying there, you can file for custody there if you and the kids had lived there long enough to establish residence in that state.

So you need to get into court somewhere, and things set up

scl2009 · Oct 13, 2010, 06:08 PM

No I'm married to him

Fr_Chuck · Oct 13, 2010, 06:14 PM

So are you planning on a divorce ,
Planning on staying apart if you don't divorce

Are you OK with him having custody of the children

scl2009 · Oct 13, 2010, 06:15 PM

I would have to go to New York I have only lived here sense July 2 2010 I'm in the middle of treatment for my thyroid and can't stop that I have to be healthy for my kids

Wondergirl · Oct 13, 2010, 06:16 PM

I'm a little bit confused, and am trying to figure out what's happening.

1. Where did you live when you were all together? (Where is "home"?)

2. What is in Wisconsin?

3. What is in New York?

4. How many kids, and how old?

Thank you for helping us understand!

scl2009 · Oct 13, 2010, 06:18 PM

I am planning on a divorce and I want to have my kids back

Wondergirl · Oct 13, 2010, 06:20 PM

Does your husband know that and is trying to beat you to the draw by taking the kids?

scl2009 · Oct 13, 2010, 06:24 PM

You my husbend don't know that I'm going to fight for them he thinks that I'm staying out here but yes he is trying to say he is a good dad and I'm a bad mom

Fr_Chuck · Oct 13, 2010, 06:45 PM

The fact he has them now and is raising them, will look good for him in court, And the court may want to know why you can't get treated for your condition in NY and had to stay or go to WI for medical treatment.

Wondergirl · Oct 13, 2010, 06:47 PM

How's your treatment going? Are you at Mayo Clinic? (On second thought, that's in Minnesota, I believe.) I hope all is going well.

Have you talked with a lawyer yet?

ScottGem · Oct 13, 2010, 06:49 PM

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Please answer all the question being asked. Were you both in WI, for how long?

scl2009 · Oct 14, 2010, 01:46 PM

We both lived in wi. For two or three months and he ran back to ny

scl2009 · Oct 14, 2010, 01:52 PM

We lived in Wisconsin home was in Wisconsin. We were from ny and the family is there I'm stuck here in Wisconsin because I'm in the middle of treament on my thyroid I'm losing my hair and everything from it and the doctors told me my best bet is to get through treatment and then go to ny and fight for them. I have two kids a daughter witch is three and a son witch is one.

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2010, 03:05 PM

Where were you before WI? Why did you move to WI? How long were you married? How much longer do you expect to be in treatment?

AK lawyer · Oct 14, 2010, 03:05 PM

New York would have jurisdiction to determine child custody.

What is it you want between now and the time your treatment is completed and you can return to New York? Is it a realistic option, financially, to ask them to return for a visit? If so, you will need to obtain the services of an attorney in New York, so that you can ask the courts to award you visitation.