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Wonder007 · Oct 12, 2010, 09:59 PM

"I broke up with my boyfriend after 6 months and I feel bad. He is a great guy..loyal, caring, sweet,cute..I even think he would propose to me soon... but the truth is I don't love him..something is not there..I was in love with my ex and I don't feel anywhere near that way with my new guy (and I don't want my ex back just comparing feelings#. Sometimes I don't want to be around him. I contemplated staying for a while because I feel there are not many good men out there but this just seems best. I told him I don't love him and don't want to be with him. I may have made a mistake but if I truly loved him then I wouldn't be doubting the relationship like I am. Now he is saying mean things to me and I know it's because he's hurt but it's now hurting me and he's losing any credibility. I never thought I'd be the one doing the dumping..but it's almost as hard as being dumped :# Am I wrong..Do I have a problem??"

KoolAide187 · Oct 12, 2010, 10:29 PM

You can't make yourself love somebody. If it's not there then that is not your fault. Maybe it's something lacking in him. You say you loved your ex but from my past experiences I have noticied I have never felt the same about the new girls I get with the way I felt about my ex. I think it's an openness to except new things and love in a new way but I still have not mastered how to feel in love the way I use to. If you truly think your new boyfriend is so great then you could try and push through it and see if anything is there but I'd say after 6 months if it's not there it's most likely not going to be. I'd say try and move on because he isn't the only great guy you will find but have an open mind to love if you're looking for it and realize love will come in a different way than it did with your first ex. You just have to be accepting with the way it comes to you. It may not feel the same but that doesn't mean it won't grow stronger than it was with your first ex. I'd say your perfectly fine on the normal chart of how your feelings are though. Hope this helps.

Devorameira · Oct 13, 2010, 06:26 AM

You did the right thing in breaking up with him. Sure he's hurt, but he'd hurt a lot more if you continued to date him and he found out years down the road.

You really had to do what you felt was right for you.

There are many women out there that get into relationships they really don't want to be in and they stick it out and remain miserable just because they don't want to hurt the guy's feelings. I'm glad you aren't one of those women, as now you have a chance to have a happy life.

answerme_tender · Oct 13, 2010, 06:49 AM

Stop comparing all the time, just appreciate who your with for who they are, their individual qualities. You stuck with your gut feelings about not being in love with your ex, and your ended it before got anymore serious then it was. Yes he is hurt, we all know how it hurts to go through breakup. Its too bad that he has lowered himself to trying to belittle you by being mean. You made a choice, now its up to you to stick to your guns, and stop being anywhere around were he can be mean to you. NO CONTAC rules. Good luck

beachloverjohn · Oct 13, 2010, 09:58 AM

You did the right thing . You don't love him so you don't lead him on. Now he is saying mean and hurtful things to you. He is trying to manipulate you. He thinks if he can make you feel guilty, and that you were a bad person for dumping him, you will go back to him out of guilt. He will also use pity if he thinks that will work. So he is one that you should have 'no contact' whatsoever. He is making this very difficult for you, and that's not fair. You did the right thing. Now take the next step and cut him off completely.