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j.couture27 · Oct 12, 2010, 02:01 PM

My sons biological father has had no contact with me or my son since he was 15 months old. My son is now 9 years old and his father just contacted me saying he wants now wants to be back in our lives. What are his rights and what can I do to protect my son from him?

Thanks so much, Distressed mom.

JudyKayTee · Oct 12, 2010, 02:09 PM

Where? Have you made an attempt to have parental rights removed before?

If the father wants to see the son, tell him to go to Court and get a visitation order. You have sole custody/control over the child now.

If/when he goes to Court you ask for support - or you can do that by filing yourself - and you PROVE with evidence why he should not see the child, why he is dangerous to the child in some way, if he is.

Otherwise, he is the father and he will most probably be awarded visitation.

mustangsunny · Oct 18, 2010, 01:31 PM

First of all, did he sign any paperwork when your son was born? Such as a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity? If he did, then he may unforturnatly have rights. Paying childsupport through the state does not mean that he has rights. This does vary by state though and lawyer should be able to tell you for sure how your state works.

I'm going through something very similar with my daughter. He didn't sign anything, however he did not contest to paying childsupport so the sates of Illinois has said that he is the father, but only through the child support. We have meet and are now getting along great and trying to work things out for our seven year old daughter. However, my son's father... where do I begin.

{Rant removed}

I wish you the best of luck. Speak to your lawyer. Do whatever you can. You didn't state that this guy was maybe like my ex so I hope that isn't the case for you. If he is a decent guy and doesn't have a dirty past, be prepared for supervised visitation a couple of hours each month, then built up to a day, overnight, etc. The courts will not just throw the two of them together. Don't be afraid to get some family threapy too. You will need it after all of this. Good luck!

JudyKayTee · Oct 18, 2010, 01:36 PM

It does not work the same in all States.

I do not know where OP is so I cannot give more specific advice.

In my State, for example, you have to PROVE you made every attempt to locate the father (using a PI) and then the Court "dictates" which newspaper you can use to publish the notice. It has to have a guaranteed minimum number of subscribers. Anything less can get the Court Order set aside.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 18, 2010, 06:58 PM

Well first signing or not signing he still have rights, he just would have to go to court and prove his paternity to get his rights.

Protect child from him ? So he is a damage, is he a criminal, a child molester, he is a drug addict ?

If you merely don't want him back in the child's life, this is just a court battle to go though.

He will need to go to court and ask for visits, you can say not, but realisticly he will get visits, so you look for supervised visits, perhaps with counseling for child first to prepare them.
That the dad will have to pay for.

ScottGem · Oct 18, 2010, 07:13 PM

The father has rights unless they were terminated (an unlikely scenario).

Even if he is not now the legal father, a simple paternity test will establish his rights. He will get visitation, probably supervised at first. But, as soon as he does file you file for child support or enforcing a support order if one is in place.