[blondey87]

Ive bin in a serious relationship wiv a man lets call him john(thats not his real name) for 5 years. Out of the five years he has been in jail for four of them. When he is home we are really happy and when he goes to jail we are happy for a while but obviously after a few months we start to drift apart, mainly because he does lie a lot. Anyway recently I've met another man scott (again not his real name) n we've both really fell for each other but he has some issues if his wion he is really insecure and gets paranoid if ui so much as talk to another man but he really really makes me happy,, we stopped talking for a few months and he rung me the other day and asked if I want to meet up on this Friday,, I don't know what to do because I do have feelings for 'scott' but on the other hand I've not seen 'john' for months so I don't even know if my feelings for him will be the same as before he went to jail last year. And to make matters worse there brothers,, not reaol brothers, I know people will read this and think I'm awfull but they've not bin brought up together there only half brothers and don't even like each other so I don't think of them like brothers. 'scott' obviously knows about 'john' but 'john' is a complete psycho so if me n 'scott' did want to have a relationship we would have to move town which he is prepared to do... I am so confused and really don't know what to do and I have no one to talk to because john' has made sure in the past 5 years that I have nop friends of mine own. Please don't think I'm bad for sleeping behind 'johns' back as he has done many terrible things to me, he is a heroin addict so you can imagine what he has done along wiv sleeping behind my back,, I have just started a degree at uni so I don't want that life anymore, which is making me lean towards scott but john is the safe option in a ****ed up way,, please help

[Cat1864]

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Blondey, you should not leave one relationship to jump into another one. If you do end things with John, do so because the relationship is not working out and/or you no longer have the same feelings for him that you did. DO NOT leave John because you have another relationship lined up. It sets the new relationship up for failure because you haven't healed and fully let go of the past relationship.

DO NOT try to carry on two relationships at the same time. End one and heal before moving on to the next.

I am glad you are getting your life straightened out. Don't complicate it by causing more relationship drama that will distract you from doing well in school.

I do not recommend that you start a relationship with Scott. You already know he is the jealous type and he is the disliked half-brother of John. That is a set-up for a disaster.

Take care of yourself and leave both men (for the time being to take care of themselves).

[blondey87]

Thank you I think what you say is the most sensible thing to do,, I just needed to hear it from someone,, thank you again x x

[Cat1864]

You're welcome.

Good luck in school.

[beachloverjohn]

I really don't know what you should do about your love life, but continue on your path to get a degree, and in the process you will hopefully gain some independence. Right now it sounds like either choice is has its drawbacks, and you might be better off if you distance yourself from both and concentrate on making a life for yourself not dependent on another.