[tomptonite]

I need some advice on meeting new people. I'm currently on an online dating site and I do go out with friends. My problem is when I find someone that I'm interested in I can't find the words I should say. I have no problem confronting someone, I just don't know how to start the conversation. Any tips?

[pandead]

How do you start a conversation on a dating site?
It should be the same way you start a conversation outside, say "hi" and SMILE!
Don't let anyone impress you. Breakup after breakup, plus recovery times and getting over ex-girlfriends/boyfriends can be hard and sometimes we are a bit rusty. But there's someone for you out there and they are not any less stressed than you are. I think it's much easier to meet someone outside but online dating is relatively "healthy" for shy people.

I consider it like a job search, you can have a few bad interviews before learning how to deal with it and what can happen, until you find the one where it just "clicks." Try to relax and don't forget to smile! Good luck :)

[tomptonite]

I never looked at it like that. That calms me down a little bit about being nervous.

[KoolAide187]

Here are some things you can do. I can understand where you are coming from with the right words to say. I have the same problem when trying to leave a message on an answering machine. I feel rushed so I mess up on things I am going to say. It doesn't work that way though with women. When you talk to women you have to be out of the headset that OMG THEY ARE SO HOT... you have to look at women as a friend or some random guy you're going to go talk to. Do you have problems talking to guys? Well it should be the same with women.

They are people just like you and me. I am not going to say women aren't special because some are. :) But you can't act like they are special they are just people. Do you have a sister? If so... treat the girl who you are talking to as if she is your sister. Let your body language do the talking and your lips do the conversing. As bad as it sounds you can talk about the weather if you have to... Anything is better than nothing. By you walking up and talking to a women you're showing interest in actually conversing with her therefore there is most likely an attraction.

You need to learn how to read women as well because just as they are people they get freaked out if somebody freaky walks up to them just as you do. You need to learn how to keep your personal bubble space out of theirs for the first 5 to 10 minutes. Look for signs as of smiling, playing with their hair, blushing, and laughing at stupid **** you say. If she isn't interested in you... you will know within the first 30 seconds of talking to them because they will turn away as if you smell funny. :)

Tease a girl as if she is your sister but only after you get to know her a little better. I'd say after she has talked to you for about 5 minutes without being turned off from you. If a girl teased you while talking to her you'd like it right? It's the same with them it's a playful type flirting. Ex: Those are nice shoes... do they come in girl sizes too? Haha! j/k and touch her... briefly (knee, ball of the shoulder, or top if their hand.) Nothing too personal. It's called Kino short for Kinostatics which is touching to build comfort. You don't want to start doing Kino until you actually have the girl locked into you and what you're saying.

It's like playing the lottery, you can't win unless you play. Same with women. If you sit around worrying that you won't say the right thing or have nothing to say then you won't get out there and just do it. The point is for you to go out and talk to them even if they reject you. It's called practice and practice makes perfect. The more girls you talk to the easier it will be for you to talk to them. Talk to girls at work... at the cash registers in stores, anywhere you see girls just talk to be friendly. Before long you will talk to girls without a problem or worry of not knowing what to say.