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    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #1

    Oct 11, 2010, 10:15 AM
    How many corporation lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
    Well, how many?
    LisaB4657's Avatar
    LisaB4657 Posts: 3,662, Reputation: 534
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    #2

    Oct 11, 2010, 10:21 AM
    I'll take a guess. Two. One president or vice president and one secretary or assistant secretary?

    Well?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    Oct 11, 2010, 10:22 AM

    A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, I. e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

    The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:


    The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.


    Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.


    Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

    Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

    How Many Lawyers Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Oct 11, 2010, 10:23 AM

    Do Corporate Lawyers even know how to change a light bulb?

    I'm sure there's a product deficiency lawsuit that has to occur first in there someplace... :D
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Oct 11, 2010, 10:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i. e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

    The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:


    The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.


    Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.


    Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

    Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

    How Many Lawyers Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
    We were posting simultaneously so I didn't see this until my post went through


    ... I like this answer better.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Oct 11, 2010, 11:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    We were posting simultaneously so I didn't see this until my post went through


    ....I like this answer better.


    Wish I could claim credit for it.

    How many Attorney jokes are there? Two. There rest are true stories.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #7

    Oct 12, 2010, 01:30 PM

    None as they have no clue what a light bulb is or does. They just tell their secretary to take care of it.
    ebaines's Avatar
    ebaines Posts: 12,132, Reputation: 1307
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    #8

    Oct 12, 2010, 02:19 PM

    The answer is... none.

    Lawyers like to make sure the rest of us remain in the dark.

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