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    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 10, 2010, 09:51 PM
    Husband deploying ex wife giving problems on seeing the child
    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Oct 10, 2010, 09:56 PM
    Husband deploying soon ex wife issues
    My husband is deploying soon he has a child with someone else. I want to be able to see the child once he is gone we asked his ex if it was okay and she said yes. Now that he is gone she will answer my phone calls and she let him know that only his father can see him no one else. I have a General power of Attorney what can I do? She has always been difficult to deal with while he was gone for basic training same situation. She wants him home on her time and when ever she feels like answering her phone. Help please
    p.s
    I have recordings of her being belligerent saying he needs to be home on her time
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Oct 11, 2010, 12:35 AM
    Writing more than just a title would help a lot. Please give some background, especially what the terms of the divorce are, whether the deployment is outside of the terms - all that vital stuff! And where you are in all this.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Oct 11, 2010, 03:17 AM
    POA over what? Your husband? That won't help if you haven't adopted his son, sorry. Your only hope is to be nice to his ex. Let her know that you love and miss the child and are offering your help caring for him or her. It sounds a little like you are the difficult one here, expecting things you aren't entitled to.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Oct 11, 2010, 04:05 AM

    Its probably too late for this, but you should have gone to court to have visitation rights extended to include you. Since you have a POA it MIGHT be possible for you to still bring an action. What I would suggest is consulting a Family Law attorney in your area. See what they think about the possibility of a court granting you visitation. It may not be possible but its worth a try. A lot will depend on how long you have been a part of the child's life.

    If you get a legal opinion that its possible, then go back to the mother and say to her that you have been a part of the child's life and want to continue that relationship, all you are asking is for the time that would have been allotted to the father. If she still refuses tell her you wanted to avoid this, but you are ready to go to court over this.

    One thing I don't understand, you referred to wanting the child home "on her time". Is there a set visitation schedule (i.e. Alternate weekends)? You should not be asking for any visitation other than what the father was entitled to.

    Aside to joypulv, You continue to post misleading info. There is no possibility of adoption here, even if the OP wanted it. The mother is the custodial parent, she's not going to give up her rights to allow the wife of the NCP to adopt.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Oct 11, 2010, 11:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    POA over what? Your husband? That won't help if you haven't adopted his son, sorry. Your only hope is to be nice to his ex. Let her know that you love and miss the child and are offering your help caring for him or her. It sounds a little like you are the difficult one here, expecting things you aren't entitled to.

    I continue to ask you NOT to post incorrect or misleading information on the legal threads. You continue to ignore me - and I'm not the only one who has asked that you stick to what you know.

    You also continue to blame the victim - in this case the wife wants to visit with her husband's child by another relationship, isn't being allowed that visitation and you think SHE has an attitude problem?

    If you must continue to post on the legal boards PLEASE stick to the question at hand and don't add and judge your own spin on things.
    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 11, 2010, 11:40 AM
    Comment on joypulv's post
    1st of I'm not the one being difficult. I want to spend time with my step son. 2nd of all I'm not asking for the world I just want the regular visits which is every 2 weeks. Keep your personal opinions about me to you self you don't know me.
    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Oct 11, 2010, 11:43 AM
    Comment on JudyKayTee's post
    Yes he see's him every two weeks.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Oct 11, 2010, 12:03 PM

    Scott gave you very good advice -

    You don't need me to tell you this but I respect you for taking an honest interest in this child, wanting to keep the lines of communication open. It seems the people who usually post are running FROM the child, not TOWARD the child.

    Let us know how this works out.
    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Oct 11, 2010, 12:03 PM
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    Her is an example we call early on a Friday and leave a message we would like to see my step son. She will call Saturday night 10pm and say she wants him back Sunday 3pm.
    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Oct 11, 2010, 12:05 PM
    Comment on ScottGem's post
    What is frustrating is she calls the next day at night saying we can pick him up but drop him off the very next day at 3 which is to early . I don't have enough time to bond.
    marinewife1989's Avatar
    marinewife1989 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Oct 11, 2010, 12:17 PM
    All I want is what my husband is entitled to which is every 2 weeks. The Child enjoys being with me and his family and cries each time he has to leave. Husband has tried talking to her and she even wanted to meet me. I was trying to avoid court, but she has given me no choice. I guess talking like adults just does not work on some people.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #13

    Oct 11, 2010, 01:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marinewife1989 View Post
    all i want is what my husband is entitled to which is every 2 weeks. The Child enjoys being with me and his family and cries each time he has to leave. Husband has tried talking to her and she even wanted to meet me. I was trying to avoid court, but she has given me no choice. I guess talking like adults just does not work on some people.
    Here is the thing that your going to have to overcome. The visitation as Scott has suggested should have already been changed to include any situations of deployment. It can still be filed. And he can appear by "telephonic means" - calling on the phone into the courts.

    Lets not forget dad in all this and many on deployment have webcams they can use to communicate back home with children. That is an absolute as far as getting it into court orders. And substitute orders for visitation for you as well. That way it is in the best interest of the child to keep the bond going between all of you.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #14

    Oct 11, 2010, 02:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marinewife1989 View Post
    all i want is what my husband is entitled to which is every 2 weeks. The Child enjoys being with me and his family and cries each time he has to leave. Husband has tried talking to her and she even wanted to meet me. I was trying to avoid court, but she has given me no choice. I guess talking like adults just does not work on some people.
    First, please don't use the comments feature to post follow-up. May I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

    WHAT exactly does the visitation order say? Does it say one weekend every other week or what? Lets say for example, it says from Friday at 5 to Sunday at 3 every other week. Then inform the mother that you will be there to pick up the child at the time and place specified in the visitation order. If the child is not ready, tell her that you don't want to do this, but you will file for a contempt of court citation if she blocks you.

    BTW, I also applaud you for wanting to be a part of your step child's life. Good luck and keep us posted.

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