[jojoa1]

My girlfriend is pregnant I am sure it is mine. However she has admitted to going out with someone else quite recently and I am pretty sure her relationship with the other man did not get to the sex stage. I do not make much money. I am very educated, she makes good money. We have talked about future plans to marry and continue our educations. We agreed both we would work on continuing our schooling before we have children. We are both responsible for this pregnancy but we both know its not the time, financially absolutely not which will definitely reduce us to federal aid programs and medicaid to take care of a child. With our arguments this past year we both make for unreliable parents. She knows and acknowledges the bad timing. She has never discussed things she is about to do when it affects both of us. We love each other but manipulation and cultural differences have been problems in our relationship. We both are not in the right frame of mind to be parents. I understand she as a woman has different outlook on pregnancy but I see financially and psychologicaly she isn't exactly ready for a child. With our relationship barely surviving this past year we agreed to heal and take time out, and then her pregnancy. She is 6 week and we discussed abortion as an option. I would love to be a father I accept responsibility. But with the state of our relationship we both know we did not show to each other that we are wordy to be parents. We can't live together but seems we care for each othe. I like to take time and think and discuss when decisions effect both of us. When she makes decision she tries to manipulate me into agreeing and have never seen her think something out long enough to make sure the decision is right for both of us. That scares me for the future decisions she would make that would affect both of us as partners and spouses. Help and advice please.Difficuilt so difficult to the point that want to cry. Advice please please.

[J_9]

ADOPTION!!

My husband is adopted, and his bio-family's circumstance was fairly similar to yours. He was raised in a VERY wealthy family and thanks God that he was not aborted.

Abortion is killing that child that you created, could you live with that?

[s_cianci]

Ultimately you and she have to make your own decision. Since you seem to feel that the timing is bad and that you're not ready to be parents, why not consider adoption as an alternative? You can have a say in who gets to be the adoptive family and may even be able to maintain a relationship with the child. There are many risks associated with abortion, both physical and emotional, so I don't recommend that option.

[talaniman]

Adoption is a good alternative since you both are selfish and immature and barely care enough about each other let alone a child. Many who find themselves in your situation are hardly ready, but get ready as they see the reality of raising there own children and yes it is a life changing event, and plenty of sacrifices are made to raise them properly. Know you both are responsible for your actions and you should try playing grown-up until you can take responsibility.

[Synnen]

Just remember that adoption has as many lasting consequences as any other option (parenting/aborting). Yes, it is a GREAT option for many people, but it's devasting for those that choose adoption without counseling as to what they are giving up when choosing placement.

See your clergyman, or a counselor (there are MANY who are free or on a sliding scale, you have to check your local phone book to find them though). Remember that regardless which option you choose, it will change your life forever.

Good luck! My thoughts are with you.