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Ruben5 · Oct 9, 2010, 07:15 PM

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6 months... We are in love and we are a perfect match for each other... But when we first started talking she told me she had a 3some about 4 years ago and she told how it happened and now I can't get it out of my head and I throw it in her face all the time and make her cry... She tells me she doesn't throw my past in my face all the time... Do I have issues or would other guys trip about this also?? It just makes me look at her differently But I hope this works out...

talaniman · Oct 9, 2010, 07:24 PM

Harshness warning

Just because you are haunted by images of her past, that's really no excuse for bad behavior, and this will never work if you demean someone because of what they have done. If you want this to work then stop acting like an immature idiot. How long before she gets tired of your actions and dumps you?

You see her differently so what? That's your problem to deal with, so do so by thinking before you flap your lips.

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2010, 07:25 PM

This is why couples should not tell ALL their secrets.

It was FOUR years ago and probably based on curiosity. Give the girl a break. Is she itching to have another one, or are you enough for her?

If you can't get past this, then you owe it to her to get out of this relationship.

Ruben5 · Oct 9, 2010, 07:34 PM

I appreciate the advice you but I already knew other women would ***** at me... Can I get some advice from another guy?? I know guys would understand...

Wondergirl · Oct 9, 2010, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by Ruben5

I know guys would understand...

And what if you had had a threesome four years ago, and she was always in your face and made you cry (or mad)?

Then what?

CarrotTalker · Oct 9, 2010, 07:44 PM

I believe talaniman is a man, and I am a man.

You admit it yourself "I throw it in her face all the time and make her cry". Sorry, that's not something a "man" would do, maybe a childish boy, but not a man.

Why do you keep throwing it in her face like that? Just because YOU are insecure about it, does not give you the right or the place to do that.

If you want to save this relationship, you need to apologize and hope the damage you have already done can be reversed. I wouldn't blame her to dump you.

If you can't accept her past, you need to let her find someone who can be more secure about it.

Alty · Oct 9, 2010, 07:47 PM

Psst, Tal is a guy. Just fyi.

So let me get this straight. She tells you about her past, trusts you enough to tell you because she believes in being honest with you, and now you throw that info in her face, make her cry, demean her, ridicule her, and you have to ask if you have a problem?

Ya, you have a problem. So does she. She's with a guy that doesn't realize that the past is the past. Not only does he not realize it, but he uses something she told him in confidence, in trust, against her. If she's smart she won't put up with this for much longer. Then you won't have to worry about what you think of her, and something she did 4 years ago.

If you can't accept her past (something that's none of your business anyway) than leave, let her find someone that can love her for who she is, not for how her past makes him feel.

Ruben5 · Oct 9, 2010, 08:52 PM

This is Ruben's girl friend,, Thank you!!

Ruben5 · Oct 9, 2010, 10:28 PM

Hey I want thank everybody for the tough love... I guesse I have been acting like an ******* and I do need help or something I don't know... Anyway is there any tips to quit thinking about it??

QLP · Oct 10, 2010, 04:57 AM

Maybe think of it this way:
When you were a year old no doubt you needed someone to wipe your bottom. I assume that's changed.
When you were 5 you probably belileved in santa clause. Guess that's changed too.
When you were 10 you probably spent most of the day climbing trees and coming home covered in mud...
Four years ago you were probably doing things that you aren't doing now.
So was your girlfriend.
The person you are with is the person she is now. The only question that matters is whether you love this person. Not who she was 4 years ago, or 10, or...

talaniman · Oct 10, 2010, 05:25 AM

When you have negative thoughts, replace them with good ones, that you make everyday. Think of why you are with her today, and actually do something to show your appreciation. When angry, think before you act or speak, and love your woman, and protect her always, and never do anything to hurt her, and never let any one hurt her either.

Above all give thanks everyday you have with her, and be grateful for the good fortune you have, and worship her funky draws every single minute that you can. Give prayers to the poor misguided fools who suffer with less than you and finally at least act like you deserve and are grateful for being blessed with the perfect female and put your soul mate on the pedestal she deserves.

She is your queen, and that's why you are a king, if you can't handle that, crawl back into the cave you crawled out of. A fellow that has a good woman, better act like a good man.

Follow these instructions to the letter, and have a long happy life.

Just saying.

Ruben5 · Oct 10, 2010, 10:03 AM

Hey thanks everybody for all the good advice... This bothered me for a while but now I feel a whole lot better... Its amazing how I can get some good advice from the internet... Again thanks to everybody for taking the time to answer my question...

JudyKayTee · Oct 11, 2010, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by Ruben5

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6 months... We are in love and we are a perfect match for each other... But when we first started talking she told me she had a 3some about 4 years ago and she told how it happened and now I can't get it out of my head and I throw it in her face all the time and make her cry.... She tells me she doesnt throw my past in my face all the time... Do I have issues or would other guys trip about this also???? It just makes me look at her differently But i hope this works out....

Somebody said (in response to a similar question): "Tell her to quit being selfish and just put your foot down... Tell her it would satisfy you.... "

Oh, wait, you're the one who said that. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ml#post2561965

Follow your own advice.

souljahdemon14 · Nov 15, 2010, 05:57 AM

Hey man! Like you, I was also having the same problem with my girlfriend. At first, it seems like you can never get away with all that tormenting emotions with her past. But instead of thinking it over and over, try to see her as a nice and lovng person.

souljahdemon14 · Nov 15, 2010, 06:04 AM

Like him, I was also having the same problem. My girlfriend had done it 1 year ago. I was crying and dying since then. Its not bcoz of my insecurities but feel really sorry for her. I'm trying to move on and look in every positive way because I love her so much.

souljahdemon14 · Nov 15, 2010, 06:08 AM

As long as she's not having communications with those guys anymore,u shouldn't be bothered. Make sure they're out of her life. Otherwise, it will bring the anger and the pain in u. she's with u now and that is all that matters most. Good luck

souljahdemon14 · Nov 15, 2010, 06:12 AM

If you are a guy, that would be painful and tormenting as everyday you are trying to move on. I know I can't change the past, but I know I can change my present by understanding her and by giving all my best of the best of love.

souljahdemon14 · Nov 15, 2010, 06:17 AM

I don't know if this will help,but what I'm doing is showing my girl the best love and care I have to give. Be positive and be more understanding to her. Stop watching porn and you will forget about it,seriously.

bselfless32 · Mar 27, 2012, 04:24 PM

I am faced with the same thing and I think its because I love her so much that her past bothers me... I can't get the thought out of my head... her being a person that breaks my heart, even if it is the past... dont judge me because I am being honest about something that bothers me!! Would it be better to lie and build up resentment about it and have pent up anger and hurt that I can't deal with or ask advice and hope someone is in the same boat... The only advice I can give (because I'm in the same boat and haven't discovered how to deal with it myself yet) is each time these thoughts creep into my mind ( which is more often than I care to admit) I simply think of my past and the less than flattering things I have done, and know that I wouldn't want to be judged for them... good luck , I will keep track because Im looking for good advice too, and not some sanctimonious butthole to ridicule me so they can feel better about themselves... I know how ridiculous it is to be jealous and hurt over my girlfriends past but I love her and I can't help that it bothers me...