[Cougar55]

I went out with this boy (lets call him A) he was friends with my (ex) best friend, (well call her B) and she was dating a boy who was A's best friend (well call him C) A took my virginity and after we broke up I was emotionally unstable, and me and B started to fade a lot. I was still hanging out with C because I would always try to get back around A. Unfortunately C starting becoming attracted. Calling me at odd hours of the night to try and talk to me for 5 hours straight. Then I went to hang out with him. He kept trying to have sex. Finally I gave in because at that time I was weak-willed and wanted some last connection to A and if I didn't give in maybe I wouldn't have that line to him anymore. It didn't last long, only about 4 or 5 minutes and it only happened one time. After it happened, he left the room and I cried while he was gone. I cried because I felt so ashamed, not because of B (because she cheated on him about 7 times with his cousin) but because I never wanted C and I was still in love with A and there was nothing I could do to take it back. Then I didn't talk or see them for 4 months. Then C roped me back into hanging out with him, but only to set me up to have B jump me. I don't feel bad for them because they amounted to low lives that sit around drinking and smoking weed, but I feel ashamed inside. I don't know how to overthrow this disgustingness I feel in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I did it because B always had a high sexual prescence about her and always was around A. (spending the night, drinking with him, smoking with him etc etc.)

[BrOkEn_StAr]

So with what you need help? I didn't get you!!

[Cougar55]

How do I shake this guilt? I can't get over it.

[Enigma1999]

Hello Cougar,

If I were you, I would stop talking to A, B, and C. There is too much drama there. Start hanging out with new people.

As for the guilt, the only way you will get over it, is with time.

Good luck.

[Jake2008]

The only behaviour you need be concerned about is your own.

Being 'weak willed' is a lame excuse for having casual sex. Surely you have the muscle strength to keep you legs crossed. You chose to be used for sexual purposes, in order to keep a guy. That is really, really sad. You let him use you, and you allowed yourself to use him.

Yet, you don't identify your own behaviour as the cause of your own distress. This isn't complicated.

You only need to make better choices. Better choices in friends, and better choices in relationships. Stop with the one night stands, casual sex, and using sex to get, or keep a boyfriend. As you've learned, meaningless sex will leave you empty, unfulfilled, and alone.

I would leave the alphabet of friends and lovers you have, and start over. Vow to improve yourself by setting some standards for yourself, and decide what you need and want in a relationship, whether it be with a guy, or a female friend. Keep your pants on until you are firmly established in a loving, mutually respectable long term relationship. Get sex as a tool, weapon, or venue out of your repertoire entirely. Establish boundaries with potential friends and lovers, and expect them to live up to what you expect. If they don't, don't waste your time.

And in the long run at this stage of the game, the better value is on finding friends who also have higher standards than the friends you have now. And people with some sense of purpose and people with goals in their lives. That will be the key to you success.

Only you can turn this around. Start with not putting out, get rid of the waterlogs in your life, and start over.

[talaniman]

You can make all the excuses you want to but bad behavior has no excuse. You want to relieve the guilt? Stop hanging around people that makes you feel guilty.

A better choice in friends, and activities, would be what you need.