[sue edman]

My Grandaughter Is Two, Has A Brother 3 And Several Step Brothers Living In Another Family In Which She Comes In Contact On A Regular Basis.
She Is Showing Signs Of Nastiness And Defiance. E.g. Digging Of Finger Nails Into You While Watching Your Expression And Showing Satisfaction Once She Gets A Reaction. Another Example Of Pulling Cloth Off A Table, Hesitating, Looking At You In The Eye, Just As You React, She Swiftly Goes Into 'destruction Mode'.

Is This For Attention, Should She Be Ignored/and/or Chastised Severely.

[bkdaniels]

LOL! I used to do this with my grandmother. It was so funny, though.

She used to throw huge fits when we did something wrong. She would slam her fist on the table; we watched as glasses, her ash tray, and fork on the plate flew onto the floor.

And yes, we did things just to study the reaction. It wasn't funny then, as it is now.

You have your choice in this. However, it is best that you chestise instead of letting them constantly get entertained by your response.

My little nephew does it too. Especially, if your reaction is amazing to him.

Hope this answers your question!

REFERENCE(S)

1. University of Pittsburgh Ofce of Child Development, 2006. [PDF] http://www.education.pitt.edu/ocd/pu...Aggression.pdf or View as htmlYou & Your Child

[J_9]

Your granddaughter is just testing the waters with her independence. This can happen about the age of 2. She knows what she is doing is wrong and wants to see what reaction she gets.

I agree with the answer above to leave emotions out of it. Do not scream, do not yell.

Take her by the hand, tell her that it is wrong and redirect her into something that is acceptable.

Now, before anyone criticizes me, I DO believe in spanking, but only in dangerous situations.

She just wants to see what she can get away with. This is very common with this age. It is developmental, however, if you let her get away with it she will know she has the upper hand.

My 4 year old still does this on occasion.

She should not be ignored, nor should she be chastised (I am not sure of your definition of the word) but she should be punished, or rather redirected.

[Sanjay Persad]

I know it's frustrating but seriously what do you expect the child is 2. Tell her that is wrong. Some people like to give their child/grandchild a little tap to remind them that what they are doing is wrong. Also if they do something bad to u, then do back the same thing to them.

[J_9]

Sanjay, if you do the same thing back, is it not saying that it is okay to do it?

Take hitting for example. If a child hits, and the parent hits back, who is right? The child gets mixed signals. "I hit, and I was told it was bad, but then I got hit, so why is it bad?"

Believe it or not, you really can reason with a 2 year old.

[Sanjay Persad]

Ok chill out mam. As both of my parents are doctors, my mom bring a paedrictrician for god knows how much years. She deals with little children all the time. I guess there are different oponions as to how you should handle a matter as delicate as this. Mine I think is the most logical but anyway. I'm most certainly not saying to go and beat the child with a stick if that is what you thought I meant. Ok J_9?

[s_cianci]

I'd follow Teddy Roosevelt's advice with this one ; speak softly and carry a big stick. First, tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and not allowed. Then, if it persists, punish her. At age to a spanking, followed by a time out, is probably the best option. Not an abusive one, of course, but just to drive the message across that her behavior is unacceptable.

[J_9]

Ok chill out mam. As both of my parents are doctors, my mom bring a paedrictrician for god knows how much years. She deals with lil children all the time. I guess their are different oponions as to how u should handle a matter as delicate as this. Mine I think is the most logical but anyway. I'm most certainly not saying to go and beat the child with a stick if that is what u thought i meant. Ok J_9?

Sanjay, please read my post #4 here. I said I do believe in a swat or a spank if it is deserved.

You may think your's is the most logical, but that is subjective to each parent and each child as everyone is individual. I never said yours was not logical, we each have our own ways.

[Myth]

I have to agree with sanjay to a point. I will bite back if I'm bitten *scratched, hit, etc... * because how else will a two year old know what if feels like when they do that to you. As a mom I'm going to be the one that they do it to most likely and I can control my reaction the best with my kids. I don't know if I explained that all that well or not. I guess it was cause and effect. I don't know. Anyway, I hope that someone can make sense of what I just said