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    luvstosmile's Avatar
    luvstosmile Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 5, 2010, 10:47 PM
    Is he lying to me? Or should I just give up on him?
    My boyfriend and I have been dating long distance for almost 9 months now. About 5 months into our relationship, I travelled on vacation. We promised to keep in touch and all but when the vacation started I would always call him and text him but he was almost always busy, I gave up after sometime because I felt like I was bugging him. We still texted each other every few days though.

    One day, a girl texted me on his phone calling me a ****ing ***** and asking me to stay away 'her man'. I asked him about it and he said she was just a friend amd it was a joke. This girl kept hitting me up randomly and was all over him on Facebook saying she loves him and stuff and he would always play along. When I got back I moved so now we live only four hours away from each other. And the girl would always try to be sarcastic and post subtle rude comments whenever I liked or posted something on his page.


    When I asked him about it, he said she was just trying to piss me off because she was jealous of me and I shouldn't pay her any attention. I asked him to let her cut it back anyway because I thought her actions were just outright disrespectful. He said he didn't know what to tell her since she already knew he had a girlfriend. I let it go. Meanwhile the girl kept trying to get at me on his Facebook page the whole time too.

    Then about 4 days ago she sends me a message basically *****ing me out and asking me to stop interfering in 'her relationship'. Pretty confused, I text her back asking her to stay away from my relationship instead and ask her what she's talking about my boyfriend being her man. She decides to text back with a string of insults and cuss words calling me pathetic for being with a man who doesn't love me. I didn't reply to anymore of her messages.

    But at that point I was extremely mad and I texted him asking him for an explanation. He said he didn't know how it happened and he didn't have an explanation either so I told him I was done with him. We had been having some problems then and were trying to work it out (I messed up while on vacation and I kissed another guy, I told him as soon as it happened). He didn't seem particularly sorry about it and he just kept saying how I should understand and he didn't see what he did wrong.

    After questioning him, he confessed that they had been talking and ahnging out and he told her he loved her over the summer but he swears it was just one time (I don't believe that). After some more questioning he told me the girl used to act like they were dating and he played along with her. After all that he still says they're just friends,and I don't buy that. I told him I will leave him unless he has an explanation for what happened, but so far I haven't gotten that explanation.

    He swears that he still loves me but I can't trust him right now. I love him very much and he knows that but I can't stay with him if I can't tell for sure whether he really loves me. I just feel like he betrayed what we had, he disrespected me and our relationship and he let her do the same. I'm still mad about it because it still hurts. Today he told me he was tired of trying to explain to me. Am I being too hard on him? Or should I really walk away?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 6, 2010, 10:35 AM

    You should have kicked his lying a$$ to the curb from the beginning. He didn't handle his business right from the get go and put an end to this confusion, yet chose to lead this dilly bar on for his own purposes and he was doing the same to you.

    He fed her lies, he feeds you lies, I don't see the point of staying with him. Don't use love as an excuse to be like her, a dilly bar! Wake up before she does, and leaves you as the only dilly bar that puts up with his crap.

    Believing a fool makes you a fool, so unless those rather harsh terms apply to you, DISAPPEAR.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ce-422823.html

    Is this the same guy??

    READ MY SIGNATURE
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Oct 6, 2010, 11:20 AM

    You gave him an ultimatum, either give you an explanation or you would leave him. He obviously didn't feel the need to give you an explanation. Would you really believe his explanation?
    Not to be harsh here, but you had to have some idea that he was messing around, this girl kept texting you and he never put a STOP to it. All his lame excuses you have just accepted, you never did text this girl to even ask her why she would believe that he was her boyfriend, that he never broke up with you, etc. Why didn't you give him an ultimatum from very first text? He is a loser, and I wouldn't waste any more time on him.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Oct 6, 2010, 07:46 PM
    Sounds like both of you should be single.

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