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    Everyothertofu's Avatar
    Everyothertofu Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 4, 2010, 03:53 PM
    What is going on? I'm really confused
    I really like this guy. He is really funny and kind, and from what I have seen, not a jerk at all. I was almost positive that he liked me. He showed the typical signs to name a few:

    Stared at me constantly, even stared when he was performing with his band.
    Smiled and looked away when I looked at him
    Said "Hi" whenever I saw him/walked past him
    Stuttered when talking to me and acted extremely nervous
    Approached me, but when he saw I was looking he ran away
    Ate lunch with me and my friends
    Bragged about his "biceps"
    Acted manly, put his foot against mine several times
    Put his hand on mine when we were watching a film
    Sat next to me at parties and only talked to me
    Yelled at some guys that accidentally ran into me
    Acted extremely jealous when I talked about other guys
    Made eye contact then looked away quickly
    Flirted, Flirted, Flirted!

    It was not like the typical middle-school relationship, I have known him since second grade. We have the same sense of humor; he is ten days older than me, I know a ton about him and vise versa, strange coincidences happen in our lives similarly.
    Finally I got the guts to tell him that I liked him, thinking that he absolutely loved me, I didn't quite get the reply that I wanted.
    He looked at me said, "Thank you, Emily." and freaked out.
    I texted him a couple days later and he replied with short, almost irritated sounding texts, then didn't reply at all. I sent a last text that said, "Joe, I'm really sorry if I made things awkward between us, I was just trying to be honest."
    He replied a day later with, "It's okay, just don't mention it again."
    That made me angry so I said, "I won't mention it again if you don't want me to, but first I have to know...do you feel the same way?"
    It took him a while to respond, but finally he said, "I don't, I like the relationship we have as friends."
    I was really shocked. I thought he might be lying, but I think he was telling me the truth. I know I am not imagining the flirting, what is going on?!
    Please help me!
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 4, 2010, 03:57 PM

    How old is he? Maybe he's backing out because you "outed" him, and he can't admit his feelings after all.

    Back off and mostly ignore him to see what he does.
    Everyothertofu's Avatar
    Everyothertofu Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 4, 2010, 04:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How old is he? Maybe he's backing out because you "outed" him, and he can't admit his feelings after all.

    Back off and mostly ignore him to see what he does.
    He's only fourteen, I'm not sure what he's doing
    Everyothertofu's Avatar
    Everyothertofu Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 4, 2010, 04:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How old is he? Maybe he's backing out because you "outed" him, and he can't admit his feelings after all.

    Back off and mostly ignore him to see what he does.
    He's only fourteen, thanks for your help :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #5

    Oct 4, 2010, 04:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Everyothertofu View Post
    He's only fourteen
    That explains it! Guys that age are just getting into the boy-girl friendship/relationship thing and are mostly scared to death. He wants to be the aggressor, so let him.

    Like I said, back off and mostly ignore him (in a nice way). It's like karate when the defender uses leverage against his opponent -- he pushes, and you allow yourself to be pushed back, but then use the other's weight against him to flip him. In the same way, let this guy "push" and be the aggressor. Let the "weight" of his "aggression" toward you tell you how he feels.

    He wants to pursue, so let him. It's more fun that way without getting into all the gooey stuff like feelings. (Fourteen y/o guys don't realize they have feelings yet. Some 45 y/o guys don't either. And some NEVER admit it.)

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