[YellowLady]

What is the best way to deal with jealousy within the employees at a small company? I work at the same place as my husband. We have had good success in our life, all around. We have been with the company for 7 & 5 years, respectively and hold positions of importance right under the owner/boss. We are invaluable to the company as we run a large portion of it. Our boss is very kind and fair with all employees, but some that have been here longer than us, think we have preferential treatment. As our personal life is a success, our marriage is a success and we are both healthy and those that are complaning are not doing well finacially and have health and relationship issues. They have not complained to our face or to that of the employer's but behind our backs, ***** constantly that we are favoured. This sadens the boss as he rewards hard work but is still fair with all his employees. He finds it very hard to deal with the back stabbing. The employees in question are important and he does not want to fire them as they would be very hard to replace... but the feelings make him want to, as he is hurt. What can be done to mend the situation without firing them? Is there something we or the employer can do to set matters straight?

[talaniman]

Its really up to the boss to tell them to quit complaining, or how he wants to deal with it. He is the boss, and that's his job, let him do it.

[SKEETER2977]

I would have a meeting if I was the boss and get everything out in the open and find out what the problem is and confront them and let them know that he know what is being said and he doesn't like it and if it continues he will have to let them go..

[JudyKayTee]

I would have a meeting if I was the boss and get everything out in the open and find out what the problem is and confront them and let them know that he know what is being said and he doesn't like it and if it continues he will have to let them go..

The person who asked the question isn't the boss. She's the person who wants to know how to stop her problems with other employees.

The boss hasn't asked us how to handle this.

[answerme_tender]

I would not have just a meeting with them. I would include the rest of your company, since you indicated it was small company. Then I would advise that you are all assigned a job and then hand out each individuals job discription. Then discuss, that as the employer he is not going to tolerate unprofessional gossiping about ANY other employees. If anyone feels they are not being treated equally then they need to come to him and discuss the matter in a profession way. Then go further to explain if he finds out that this unprofessionalism continues after this meeting from ANY employee, then it will mean immediate termination. He also needs to state how much her appreciates Everyone's contributions to the company, etc..

[JudyKayTee]

I would not have just a meeting with them. I would include the rest of your company, since you indicated it was small company. Then I would advise that you are all assigned a job and then hand out each individuals job discription. Then discuss, that as the employer he is not going to tolerate unprofessional gossiping about ANY other employees. If anyone feels they are not being treated equally then they need to come to him and discuss the matter in a profession way. Then go further to explain if he finds out that this unprofessionalism continues after this meeting from ANY employee, then it will mean imediate termination. He also needs to state how much her appreciates EVERYONES contributions to the company, ect..

I own and operate two businesses. This is entirely outside the employee's authority.

The employee reports the problem to the boss and the boss handles it - the employee can't speak for the boss ("... he is not going to tolerate unprofessional ...") If that's the employer's thinking, let him express it.

What he does he doesn't need to do is immaterial. He didn't post the question and the OP can't demand that he behave in any particular way.

[answerme_tender]

I have found being the owner of two businesses myself that to eliminate conflict between employees that bringing them together in same room, rather it be boardroom or training room and just going over the work environment rules and what I and my business partner are looking for usually helps. It also allows employees to get certain things off their chest. But it really depends on what policy the owner has, we have certain policy that deals gossip in our work environment. We have manual that is handed out to every new employee and must be signed.

[JudyKayTee]

I have found being the owner of two businesses myself that to eliminate conflict between employees that bringing them together in same room, rather it be boardroom or training room and just going over the work enviroment rules and what I and my business partner are looking for usually helps. It also allows employees to get certain things off their chest. But it really depends on what policy the owner has, we have certain policy that deals gossip in our work enviroment. We have manual that is handed out to every new employee and must be signed.

Now I'm confused. I agree with what you said except that I don't allow my employees to dictate how/what I will do and say. I read your post as a "dictate" how the employee should advise the employer.

Sounds like you've got all of your bases covered - also the "signing" part is very good advice.

[Jake2008]

How does the boss know about who is saying what, to whom, and what the comments are in the first place. And why do you assume that they dislike you, and their dislike is fueled by your success, because they have health and financial problems, and you don't.

You may consider yourself to be very important in the company, as you have (obviously) taken the gossip to the boss, personally. And it is gossip. Had it not been brought to his attention, he wouldn't have a problem. And you have put him in a position of having to deal with it. Have these not so well off colleagues said something specfically to you? One or two of them, or all of them? In other words, where are you getting direct information, and where are you getting your facts. Or, is it all petty, third hand information, or inuendo without substance.

You conside yourself invaluable to the company as you said, as you and your husband run a large portion of it. But you are not a manager or supervisor, and hold no special status, except you are closer perhaps to the boss, and do a different job than those that are equal, to you, in that you are all 'just employee's'.

I find the best policy under circumstances like this is, when it is something that is fueled by jealousy (even if that's not all it is), and you know by hearing directly that you are not liked, or are told to your face that you are a whatever, only then can you deal with the person, equally as employees, face to face, without getting the boss involved. Unless it breaks out into a cat fight in the lunchroom.

I once told a woman I worked with, after she was overheard, by me, saying I was too big for my britches (I was new and nobody knew me), that I would appreciate any questions she has to be directly asked to me if she has a problem with me. Woman to woman, face to face. The problem was solved, and we actually ended up being good friends to this day.

But, to make the problem you have involve every colleague who you perceive to be of lesser value than you, a company problem, and one that the boss has to deal with, in my opinion, is not very professional.

You could, after all, be entirely wrong about what you think is being said. They may not be talking about you because they are jealous, or out of shape, or have health problems, or financial problems (that you don't have) as you describe their reasons.

If you really need to know what's going on, and you want to step up and deal with it, ask a few direct questions yourself.

[JBeaucaire]

So as to not repeat anything already offered, I'll just offer this...

1) Continue to be the best employees you can
2) Continue to have the best marriage you can
3) Take pride in both accomplishments without being rude
4) Let the jealous learn by your example or not, that's up to them.


Some people are just negative-minded. That's just the way they are wired. No amount of "handling" will actually change their mental methods, so you may be wasting all time spent on trying to help them not be the way they.

How would you respond to someone who used the workplace as an opportunity to "teach" you two to not be so happy and successful? You wouldn't really be all that interested, would you?

Believe it or not the world is full of people who are content in their selfish misery, in whatever form it takes.

As long as their jealousy/misery does not actually reduce their work product, leave it alone and enjoy your successful life.

Read the quote in my signature. Some people can't be taught.

[YellowLady]

Thank you all for your comments. The boss came to me and asked me how I think he should deal with it. All company decisions are made after we discuss them together. The 'gossip' was that one of the employees was bad mouthing the owner and 'us' in a public place in town. The employee didn't realise he was *****ing to someone that knew the owner. It is third hand, but for this man to call and warn the owner about the complaints was shocking to him. They obviously weren't little remarks. It was a full on blast and that is the only reason it came to attention...
Likely new policies will be required and our interactions with coworkers will change slightly.

[JudyKayTee]

I'd be honestly more concerned that the third party didn't say, "Hey, I know these people" and stop listening.

Sounds like you have a pleasant, well organized work place, freedom to discuss problems.

Let us know what happens next. Hopefully I can convert your experience to suit my business.