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    gritz540's Avatar
    gritz540 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 29, 2010, 05:08 PM
    Ex-Boyfriend is Back with Ex-girlfriend. Version 2 (No relation to prev. post)
    During college, I met a guy when we were both going through break ups with our current boyfriend/ girlfriend. In the beginning we were friends, merely providing each other emotional support, but then we began crossing the line. We began to have sex with each other, and doing things that most people do in relationships, minus applying any labels and all. During the time, I knew, through Facebook of course, that he was still seeing his ex and that they were doing things together with their mutual group of friends. When I would confront him, he would just merely shrug it off and tell me that they were just friends. Fast forward three years, we are both faced with the decision to move back home, and of course, I was devastated. We both were from different states and I just knew that would be the end of it for us. Initially, we would meet up in our college state, hang out, and basically relive our college experience. We did this for about 6 months after college. After those six months, we both agreed that we were on separate paths, and that we should date around, and not wait for each other or anything else. So I started dating around and I let him know about it when he would call to keep in touch. After a year of not seeing him, we randomly met up again, and hooked up. All those feelings for him came back and I realized how much I cared for him. Turns out after five months of not talking to him, or having superficial talk, I return to my Facebook stalking ways, and I found out that he has been dating his ex girlfriend during the time that we hadn't been seeing each other. I confronted him about it. He admitted that they were dating, and that we couldn't talk to each other anymore... What should I do? Should I send a message to his ex girlfriend? The problem is that I am so insecure about our past, whether if he was seeing her during our stint, and now I just don't know what to do. Please help
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,859, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Sep 29, 2010, 07:13 PM

    You definitely need to leave him alone, and put this behind you. You have done enough confronting, and holding on to false hope, and assuming, and presuming to last a lifetime, and its time to put the college romance, and experiences behind you, and focus on the real world.

    Time to just let it go, and move forward, and stop being stuck in the past.
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #3

    Sep 30, 2010, 01:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by gritz540 View Post
    What should I do? Should I send a message to his ex girlfriend?
    What for?

    You guys were playing it casual and now because you have feelings for him you think you have a right to screw with his life?

    Back off and get a life.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #4

    Sep 30, 2010, 06:53 AM

    Move on and put it behind you. Lets be honest, it started as friends, then from your own words then crossed line to having relations. Right there is were he started cheating on his girlfriend and you were okay with that, but then you were the one he was cheating with. This is just one of those experiences were what's goes around comes back around. Does it hurt any less, no. Only giving yourself time to heal will lessen the pain.
    His girlfriend has done nothing to you, she is not the one who had any time of relationship with you, he is. Hurting her to get back at him is just wrong,and it will not take away the hurt and pain. You will just be giving away your pride if you do that.
    Its time to stop thinking of him and move on getting your life in order. Get out with friends and family start meeting people. Change up your routine, do something new and exciting. Maybe take a skydiving class!! That will keep your attention(lol) Good luck you obviously have a lot to offer a real man.
    jrsomello's Avatar
    jrsomello Posts: 28, Reputation: 7
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    #5

    Oct 3, 2010, 08:00 PM
    Hey, I understand that with all the emotions considered, you feel the urge to act out and confront his girlfriend, but there is a bottom line here that illuminates the answer you are looking for, "He admitted that they were dating, and that we couldn't talk to each other anymore." That gives you your answer right there. THere is NOTHING you can do to make him want you. Accept it, deal with the pain, and give yourself time to heal, but in the meantime, like Answerme_tender said: Keep yourself socially busy. Don't sit at home on FB stalking his page. Maybe even Take a break from FB or delete him (this really works) because seeing him in any way shape or form will make the healing process take longer. With that said Good Luck and best wishes to you

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