[usmc_guy19]

Hi. My name is mike. Im 19 and I leave for marine bootcamp in 6 weeks and 5 days. There is this girl that I've been friends with for 3yrs. Ive always had strong feeling for her, but the problem was that she was always in a relationship. This summer her boyfriend told her he wanted to take a break and see other people. During that time we had sex twice, but we were high. We always smoke together. The last time we had sex we were high and she said that she "thinks" that she likes me. But I feel that I like her more than she does me. About 3 days ago she found out that her boyfriend that wanted to take a break was going out with another girl. I know she still has strong feelings for him but they separated in July. Idk if I should tell her how I feel cause I am leaving and I feel like if I got a positive response things still wouldn't work out. You can say that I do love her. But I don't even know how to talk to her cause every time we had a emotional talk we were high and I don't know how to tell her sober since I quit smokin. What should I do? I don't want to ruin our friendship.

[Cat1864]

I think you need to step back and not get involved with her in any way other than friendship which means don't tell her how you feel, yet. No more getting high and having sex. It is a good way to end up with complications you don't need right now.

She needs to handle her business with her boyfriend in whatever way they choose to go. As it stands right now, they are still a couple on a 'break'. She hasn't broken up with him so she still harbors some hope of getting back with him. She should make her decision without having another relationship already in progress. Jumping from one relationship to another without giving time to heal and get rid of the baggage leads to rebound relationships. She needs to take time when she isn't high to decide what she wants to do and what she wants in a relationship.

Let her take care of her business and you take care of yours.

Good luck in boot camp and thank you for serving.

[Jake2008]

I agree with much of what Cat says, but, maybe there is a way you can go about this- from a distance.

Let her know that you'd like to keep in touch, if she wants to, through email, while you are away at boot camp.

That is a way to allow her the time and space she needs to deal with her boyfriend, and possibly get over him, as well as allow her time, at a slow pace, to get to know you better. (and straight- good for you for getting off the weed btw).

You say you 'think' she likes you, but until you have some sober conversations, neither of you can be sure what you're thinking about each other.

Communicating in a different way, without expectations, presumptions, and pressure on either side, would be a good way to keep he lifeline going between you.

Distance, in your case, just might the best way to address a possible relationship with her, by mail, even the old fashioned way of writing letters back and forth. It may be the building block you need to not only a better friendship, but also a possibly more.

[I wish]

Unfortunately, the fact that you're leaving doesn't bold well for the future of your relationship. She's already going through a break up, then if you told her how you feel, what's she suppose to do? It's not like you're going to be around, since you're leaving for the marines.

I would say, stay friends with her. Try to keep in touch and be there for her as she tries to get over the break up.

Once you tell her how you feel, you can't take it back. There's a right time and place to do that. You might feel that now's the time, because she's technically single, it might be right timing for her, but it's not right timing for you.

If you really want to tell her, then I suggest you wait until you come back from training or whenever you're going. Keep in touch if you can while you're away. If she's still single by the time you come back, then that will be a better time.

[talaniman]

I question your love since its built on sex, and drugs. Naw, leave this alone, and let her find another booty call. Say nothing, commit to nothing, except going to boot camp.

If you two stay in touch, its friends only. You may have stopped getting high, but as long as she hasn't, keep your distance.

[beachloverjohn]

She can tell you whatever you want to hear since you're going away. So don't put any credibility into anything she says, I wouldn't trust her for a second. But listen I have the utmost respect for our men in uniform, so tell her whatever you need to if it makes your time serving our country more bearable.