[Msbeautiful]

Ok. I have been with this guy for 7 months now. He took me away from the heart break of my last boyfriend. But he's not over his ex girl friend/ baby mama. Him and his baby mama was together for 5 years and out of that time she cheated on him numerous times and got pregnant from other duded that he paid to get aborted. But we had a talk last night and he told me that no matter what she does to him he will still always love her. He told me that his baby mama is his weakness. But his baby mama won't let him have or see the baby because he pays more attention to their baby. The ony thing she want to do is hang out and date other men. But wants his money.

I always ask him "I no dats ur baby momma u have love for her bcause of ur son but y r u still in love with her. Look how she treat u. She don't love you. she just wanna use u tell shes ready to settle down." she 22 almost 23 and he just turned 25. He told me if she want to get back with him he will get back with her because he just want to have his son back in his life. He said if he cheat on him he don't care because at least his son back in his life.

Then when he talks about me and him its mixed feelings now it confuses me. When he was with her she talked down on him because he isn't have a job, he always was depressed and looked bummy. When he met me, he looking handsome, well groomed and sexy. And dats because of me. I gave him a makeover. Now she want to no wheres he getting money and why he's looking good. But when he gets mad at her he always tell me that he loves and how he wants us to be togethr. But when his baby mama text him or see our pictures on Facebook 2gther and tell him him stuff like how she want to get bk with him and that he moving away from her and the baby he start feeling her again. The next day after she put that in his head, he takes our pics off the computer and he gets defensive again. Like puttin a shield over his heart again. Then onece he do that his baby mama start ignorin him again. Don't want him to see the baby again. Its like she playing with his heart because she feel no matter what she always got him. But he's playing with my heart as well. He told me he wish that his baby mama would be like me. I care for him a lot but I no he don't feel da same about me. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT WE ARE JUST FRIENDS WHEN I THOUGHT WE WERE MORE THAN THAT. He said we're friends with benefits.

He said that he feel a mother and father suppose to b 2gther for the baby and dats how he want to before his son. But his babymama ain't acting like that. She still want to be with other men and not let him go be with other women. Dats why she using the baby. Because she no the baby make him happy. Without the baby he depressed. Is he using me 2 make her jealous??

[stillasking]

My advice to you my friend... get out now! You obvioulsy want more than he's prepared to give. Move on with your life and find someone who will give you 100% of himself! Being a "friend with benefits" only works when both parties agree that that's all their situation is... you clearly want more and he clearly doesn't!
P.S.
Find someone without kids!

[Homegirl 50]

He is using you because you let him. You give him a break from her.
My question to you is why are you even asking. He just told you you are friends with benefits, that is what it means.
Leave him alone before you really get hurt because this guy is not going to leave that woman.

[mrshodges]

I hope you are using condoms. This is a back and forth situation that will never end. He will never commit. He likes the drama and always will.

[dolly1033]

I am going through the same situation and I know how much it hurts.

I have dated my guy for 6 months, when we first met he said they weren't together but were living with each other. (Yes, I ignored every red flag) We met before the baby was born and we were together 247! No lie. It got to the point where they started fighting and his family wanted him to be home. Even after the baby was born we were together. Things got bad between them and she called the cops a few times. But I realized even with them living together or not, he would always put her 1st. They were together over a yr and now have a child.

He tells me they don't get along or have anything in common anymore. And we get a long more. But at the end of the day. I gave him my all and he used me. Even when he went to jail he told me he wanted to be with me and that he loved me and they were done.

I realized we will never work out and he will always put her 1st. It kills me but I know I will find someone better.

He doesn't even treat her right. Leave and never look back!

[pooh92]

I am kind of in the same situation well as fr as me believing he still had feelings for his babymomma. He does everything I ask him to but when it comes to his babymomma he kind of gets defensive. I know he still has feelings for his bm and I've come to understand that I mean that is something special to share with a person especially when they we're friends before. I accept that but I'm not going to dwell on it anymore he says he doesn't want to be with her then so be it and on top of that I know she doesn't want to be with him. But as far as him still having feelings for her I'm going to do my best as his woman to take his mind off her. And you should try and do the same but if you feel like you have tried your best and he still wants to be with her then yeah your best bet is to get out of the relationship before you get hurt.

[ncsunshine]

That last comment is what an idiot would say: "As his woman I'm going to try and take his mind off of her." The fact that you would even part your mouth to say something so stupid is beyond me. Face facts, he enjoys toying with you even though you believe that he doesn't want to be with his ex or commit to her, obviously you are in the same boat or you would be the wife and still even then you would still have to be apart of the foolishness. Face facts, he is where he wants to be according to him by choice, or is it really because he can't do what he does to you (making you feel insecure, less of a person, and constantly his shield to deflect that your man has real issues; yet you keep avoiding them and aimlessly hoping that they will just resolve themselves)to her. Make sense, if you are half of the woman that you think that you are then start acting like it because the child and the ex was there before you and it is ultimately up to you as to how you fit in this picture, but respect it for what it is.

[Homegirl 50]

This topic is very old.