[princesa jessica]

I have been cutting myself for many years now. It never was as serious before never left scars never to deep, just something to releve my pain. About six months ago I just couldn't take it so I just cut away cut after cut. I can't even count. They are all on my arm and every single cut left behind a scar. I am so ashamed. For months now I have just been wearing long sleeve shirts because I do not want anyone to find out. I'm over my cutting issue now I realize it is not worth it. But still I am left with the reminder every single day of what I did. And why I did it. I really really just do not want anyone to find out. I want to hide it. It was my personal problem and I don't want everyone to know about it. Especially my family I just can't stand hurting them like that. I have tried scar remover stuff (palmers scar serum) and it just won't work. All I want is for my scars to go away and get on with the next chapter in my life I want to be able to wear short sleeve shirts again. I'm dreading this summer because it will be so hot. And I might have to wear short sleeve shorts or a bathing suit. Every time one of my friends see my arm or even not one of my friends just a random person they ask me about it. And thinking about why I did it just brings back pain that I don't want to feel again. I can't explain myself to them because I don't even no why.

just please I want my scars gone. Anyone that knows anything please please help me.
thanks
-jess

[digitalbath]

Good to know you've realized that self-mutilation is definitely not worth it.

Since you said that scar-removing creams wouldn't work for you--rather than trying to remove something so deep, perhaps you can permanently cover your scars with a tattoo? Maybe get a tattoo of something that makes you happy?

Whatever you decide to get a tattoo of could possibly completely cover your scars and the last person to ever see your scars would be your tattoo artist.

That's really the only thing I can think of...

I hope you get better.

[J_9]

Jessica, your story is painful, yet beautiful. I realize you want to get rid of your scars, but how about using them to help others.

Your scars tell a story of pain, yet you have overcome that pain. There are many people out there that could learn from your pain, but they can't if you cover it up.

I understand your dilemma, not wanting to hurt your family, etc. But would your family not be proud that you are still alive!? Cutting could have ended your life, yet you are here today. You are here today to tell your story to others. You are here today to give hope and inspiration to a teen who feels that they have nowhere else to go, no one to talk to .

Do you realize that by uncovering your scars you could actually save a life or two?

You are a remarkable person who has been given the chance to live your life and help others in need. We are not given something that we cannot handle, that we cannot teach someone else in need.

Be proud that you have overcome this, be proud that you are here today, be proud that with your scars and with your experience you can save someone.

You are a very strong person to have overcome what you have, take pride in yourself and in your strength.

No, you may not want to feel the pain of what you endured, but it is necessary for growth and strength.

I LOVE the idea of a tattoo. Maybe a tattoo of a guardian angel, because you had one or you would not be here today.

I had breast cancer, I have scars, albeit mine are not as noticeable, but I am here today to help others. I have a guardian angel tattoed on my right shoulder (the right side is where my cancer was). I am a stronger person because of my cancer, I too had a guardian angel.

Turn your pain into help, help for teens who have no one to talk to. Be a mentor. You can do this.

[dono2007]

Go see a dermotoligist, the'll know what to do, trust me:p :) :)

[truthtrumpsall]

Girlie, while I TOTALLY understand how you feel, your scars are the last thing you should be embarrassed about, or try to hide and you absolutely should not worry about them. Those scars represent A LOT and while I am not saying to look at your scars and feel pride, DO let them remind you of where you've come from and where you're going. Also, there are SO many other people in the world that have cutting scars, and some hide them, but if people see you and your scars, see that you aren't ashamed, you never know just how many peoples lives you will impact in AMAZING ways.

About the physical problem of the scars, try a dermotoligist or laser surgery. You can get this from a Dr. if they will prescribe it, Tretinoin Cream 0.025%, this stuff is AWESOME! I use it on my own scars. There is no scar reducer that is going to work right away. Scars can take anywhere from 4 months to a year for them to be hardly noticeable, so you'll have to practice your patience:-)

If people look at your scars, let em' look, be proud of who you are, that is the best gift you could ever give yourself. Also realize that in a few years you may look back at your post and you just might wonder why you even cared. You're beautiful, scars and all, never ever ever forget that!

[Bluerose]

Brilliant answer, J_9.

I also have a few scars on my arm, and I'm much older and I can tell you they won't go away but they will fade with time.

Don't beat yourself up anymore, you have suffered enough.

Be good and kind to yourself.

A good skin moisturiser used on your arm morning and night will help those scares to fade, and caring for them will stop you from feeling so guilty.

[rockbottomtohell]

Hey, I have the same problem, only I can't stop... anyway, what I do is put waterproof make up (foundation, stuff like that) or if you're old enough, get a tattoo, something to remind you not to do it, and that that part is over, and sorry, everyone else who is going to yell at me, I know, bad advice, I'll yell at myself, I'll do it for you, OK?

[tessy]

I don't know what would remove your scars permentlly if anything, other than plastic sergery, maybe someone else will have the answer to that one.
But I will say that you need to talk to someone. You should not go at this alone. I know you say you are over this but obviously you are not. There may come a time in the future when things get you down too much that you are not expecting and it happens again.
It's not worth it. Please talk to somebody! Whether it be a close friend or relitive that you trust or a doctor that will know what you need weather it be tharaphy or medication whatever gets you back on track.
My husband had the same thing going on with him a cuple years before we started dating and thoes scars last a livetime sweetie, both phisically and mentally, don't continue this please get help. There is no shame in admitting you need help.

[Megg]

Yea I used to cutt and sometime's I still feel like it. What people don't know is in some twisted way it helps. I say twisted, meaning that its not good and that you shouldn't do it, but you realize this that is good enough! I almost lost my fiancé over this issue, and we still have problems. I still feel temped to do it, and since you have quit what did you do to stop? Cold turkey or? And am I currenct you still think of it? I'm trying to stop thinking of it. ANYWAY! I think if you use a coco butter lotion it will work. Some women use it during pregnancy so they don't get or keep scar's. This may help you also, or use foundation that matches your skin tone. Good luck.

[rockbottomtohell]

It's like when you stub your toe, someone steps on the other foot and you forget about your toe. That's how it helps, a few moments of peace for a lifetime of guilt, it's bittersweet, what can we say?

[tessy]

I can't believe so many people here do this to themselves! Don't you all realize that this is NOT normal behavior and you need help. Problems like this may not go away on their own. So many people have died from doing this very same thing. How can you act like it is no big deal? I realize there are things in life that feel out of your control and you want a way to make the hurt go away. We've all had it. But there are better ways to deal with lifes downs! This is suicidle behaver and needs attition.

[Megg]

We realize its not healthy, and personally I know what the price is and all that. But, its nothing new. From this post I get that this is known and that she has taken the steps to overcome it. As did I, but coming on here to tell us were doing something wrong isn't right. I mean, yea its not normal to you or anyone else. Have you seen the hurt Jess has had? Felt it? Or mine? No, be more careful with your post's, did you even read her post fully? I have a lot to say about this subject since I delt with it, and ill be the first to say I don't or did have a mental problem, I have learned my mistakes and I'm working past it. So has Jess. --Three cheer's Jess, you and I made it throguh!

You very welcome. This is a hard topic considering I have been there and done that. So I feel if I went through why not share my thought's and idea's? If someone disagree's it's not a bad thing, you just debate calmly about it. I love to debate hehe. So if you ever make post's don't agree unless you agree. We want to know what you think! --That was a head's up.--But seriously, you may not know me, but I'm 20, so I am not too old to be able to realte to teen and or early adulthood problems. --so no matter how old you are, I should be able to help. Just ask anything! I've posted ton's of question's already.

[kanicky73]

I feel so bad for any and all of you that feel that hurting yourself somehow takes away the other pain your feeling. Its kind of like drinking, I think. But aren't the reasons and the problems that you did it in the first place still there even after you hurt yourself? Please get some help, get therapy, talk to someone. This can never turn into a good thing. Back the original question about getting rid of scars. I was told by my dermatologist that you can have a laser procedure done. Its like a resurfacing type of thing. They do it to get rid of stretch marks. Kind of costly but you may want to look into it in your area and then set a goal for yourself to save the money. Good luck to all of you! I wish you the best.

[tessy]

I'm sorry if I came across judemental I did not mean to I was just trying to be helpful and hopefully make you all realize that help is not a bad thing and by not normal behaior I mean it should not be taken litely because it should be a sign to you that you need thearapy or meds. (no pun intended) I have suffered with depression for 5 years and had some really hard times. I still do. And yes I did read it in its entierty and from what I got was she thought she was over it, a year I believe is what it said, that's wonderful progress, but unfortantlly, she did it again just 6 months ago. A good support system can make all the difference, that's all I meant. I'm sorry if it was taken the wrong way.

[truthtrumpsall]

I think everyone here KNOWS that certain behaviors aren't "normal" or "healthy", that's not the point. What is the point really is that people know they are not alone, that they have someone to talk to and that they can get some advice on how else to survive the lives that they are living. No one here acts like it's not a big deal, but for us mentally ill people, well, these kind of things are not surprising. You should also realize that people with mental illnesses REALLY have an illness, so why it may seem to YOU that the people here don't care and don't realize our actions, I can assure you they do. What's "normal' isn't the point, but what is the is the fact that a mental illness is just that, an illness that one will have for th rest of thier lives. I don't know what you expect when you read post in the 'Mental health' area, but this is reality, deal with it, accept people aren't and shouldn't be just like you and maybe the next time you take the time to write in this forum maybe you'll give some real thought and care about the people here, writing the things you did help NO ONE. Understanding, love, talking, being open, that's what is helpful. No one here needs to be told that they aren't 'normal' or "healthy', we already know that and we don't need anyone putting us down.
Do you have a mental illness? Do you know people with mental illnessees? What made you come into this forum and give a 'this behavior is not normal, healthy' speech anyway?

[rockbottomtohell]

I agree, we all know, it just is something that helps, and how are you all commenting? I'm so confused! Sorry...

[tessy]

To awnser your question, I came here because I saw it under new posts and my husband was doing the same thing to himself when we got together, as I mentioned before. His arms are nothing but scars now and refuses to wear anything short sleaved for fear like was mentioned in the previous post. I personally have not done this to myself but have dealt with it with ones very close to me. So I thought I would try to help her to understand that like my husband, fearful of telling people, it can make a big difference. And the comment about it not being 'normal' I merely meant that some people that do destructive things weather it be to themselves or to others sometimes do not grasp the fact of the true harm in it behond the obvious physical signs of there actions. Again I'm truly sorry you all felt that way about my posts. I was not trying to be "closed minded" or come across areogent. And I'm sorry my comments have not helped anyone as you say, I was only trying to be straight forward that talking to a family member or her doctor about this is in reality what is best for her situation. She obviously wants to get better and they can help her do that. And to reassure her that by seeking out help, there is no shame. That's all. I can not give her advice in the "i know what your going thru", because I don't, but I have seen it happen to my husband, and getting help is not only helping you but the ones that love you too.

[truthtrumpsall]

We hear you, one thing though, I think everyone here knows that getting help is always the best answer. But getting help doesn't mean the symptoms of the illness go away. A lot of us in here are on meds, see a medical Dr. and a Psychiatrist. But still, life is hard and that's what these forums are for.

Didn't mean to come down too hard on you, I hope you and your husband are hanging in there. I know it can be VERY tough for the loved one of a person who has struggled w/any kind of mental illness. You must be a rock for him and I've got to commend you for that. Thanks for trying to be helpful, we hear you. Hopefully no hard feelings.

[rockbottomtohell]

Wait... the symptoms really never go away? Ever?! I haven't tried to seek help yet, but wow. I didn't know that...

[Emily94]

Finally someone on this site I know what there going through... all I do is one someone asks me I tell them that it is a pat problem and a future souviner... you can't do much because if you cut REALLY deep like me there stuck for a long time just think as them as a memory of how you used to life and act and how it is weird that you ever did it that's what I do now all my friends except me again and if you ever start cutting