[jessgrass]

I was raised white trash kind of we moved a lot was in a family of 6 for the first 8 yrs of my life mother older sis. Older bro. me younger bre. And step father who loved little girls. When I turned 8 everything fell apart I found out step father wasn't real dad. I know he is sicko but then he was just my dad I didn't know it was wrong 1 year later it went from 6 to 2 just me and my mom she was doing meth and bounceing from house to house to man to man they ussaully moved in with us though. When I was 12 I was labeled bipolar manic deppressive by 13 using meth 2 by 14 had been rapped when I got the courage to turn him in a yr later was called a lier because a 40 yr old man addmitted to having me in his house and car and so the cops of orovill dropped it. 15 was in a group home theripy 5 days a week and was relabled bipolar manic deppressive with sycotic tendenses. And 3 yrs later they added ptsd I have been self medicateing for 11 yrs sometimes I feel like this world is just too much. How do I stay grounded when I want to be over so much taken many meds none really helped oh yeah I am 30 yr old female with slight anarexia try to eat 1 time a day. I just don't understand why everything is so hard getting up and doing any thing.. what should I do for to see the light??

[Caturah]

I would bet your eating disorder is just a symptom of the real problem. You lived a life at the whim of others and had no control as a child. The one thing you can control is what you eat. Your parents (step, adoptive or real) have the job making you feel safe and secure. It sounds like you had NO childhood and NO ONE you could trust. This is the basis of some very serious issues that need some psycho- and maybe hypnotherapy. I say hypnotherapy too because there may be things that happened to you as a child that you don't remember. They could be subconsciously sabotaging your life--- although the things that you DO remember are certainly enough to do that. All your meds should be reevaluated. It's time to love yourself. Start loving yourself by not self-medicating. Your prescription meds cannot work properly or be evaluated properly if you are adding alcohol or other illegal drugs to the mix. You can't see the real you and the person who needs love. All those diagnoses are just naming your symptoms. Try reading "The road less traveled" by Leo Buscaglia. It is wonderful.

[rebeccahstrean]

I was in the same situation. My parents were bad into meth. My mom would sleep with guys just to get it and then made me sleep with them. The drugs turned my mom into a sketsophernia. She saw people that wasn't really there and stuff. Your not the only one. Everyone has a different way of dealing with problems like this. I never talk about it. I just let it all go... put it on a cloud and that's it. You however probably can't do that... so my adive to you is :
Seek counseling, and find like a best friend or a close loved one that you can trust and confide in so they can give you the emotional and mental support. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I moved SEVERAL times also... We were a poor family and my dad made good money which makes me mad. But you on the other hand... just live in the present ( the here and now) and look for the future. Remember when you have kids... you know what to do and what not to do. So you will be a better parent to them then yours was. So learn from their mistakes and if you see someone using try to help them before they get to bad. Is you mom still on it? There are also 1800 numbers that are free in the phone book and you call them and talk to them... they are there for you 24-7. I've done it manys of times for many different situations. I hope this helped you at least a little bit:)