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    dj85's Avatar
    dj85 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 29, 2006, 07:57 PM
    Hard trying to cope with the love of my life passing away.
    Everyone night when I pray I talk to the love of my life letting him know that I will always carry the love we have. But Ive been wondering if he could hear me, I don't won't him to think that I have forgotten about him and moved on with my life because I Haven't! Im still grieving feeling miserable wondering if he still hear me, see me, love me. I just really don't understand, its hard going through this

    DJ85

    Anyone who can offer honest, respectful, and kind advice through this time I would surely appreciate it.
    bkdaniels's Avatar
    bkdaniels Posts: 140, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 29, 2006, 08:37 PM
    To be honest, you should not be afraid to let go. The more you hold on to the past, the more difficult you will make dealing with the grief in the furture.

    Even in common marriage vows, it states "till death do us part." I understand that you want him to come back, but enough with the wishful thinking, once you are dead, you are dead.

    I have no intentions of taking away your hope. What goes on after death, no one knows but the dead.

    As far as life is concerned, however, we have to move on. This is not the way to deal with it.

    We have to realize that we are in no position to argue with God and the way that He chooses to do things. For the Bible states, The Lord giveth; the Lord taketh away.

    It upsets me to know that we are dying faster than we should. I truly believe that medical science will one day come to the full knowledge of death and how to stop it.

    Look at me, I sound like Martain L. King with his I have a dream speech, don't I? But we must look at it for what it is; do we really want to take away the dying?

    Most times it is the best outcome. Scientists have discovered the keys to the biology of death, but has quickly figured that it is in the best interest of the dead to remain dead.

    At death, they have discovered that restoring life is far more advanced that the beating of the heart. Once the heart stops and blood stops circulating through the body, every organ in the body become excessively destroyed with toxins.

    Therefore, if life was to return to the body, the person would be in a worser state and would be better off dead. This accounts for the reason many attempts to restore recessitation is called off in medical practice.

    So get a hold of yourself. No one can tell you how to accept or deal with the grief, but it helps to get professional help if the grief lasts more than 2 weeks.

    Hope this answers your question!

    REFERENCE(S)

    1. Dealing With Death
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 29, 2006, 10:07 PM
    Yes he can hear you and he knows. But we also have to move on, not let go, but our life does not end when our love dies, we still live and have to keep living, and in living, our life changes and still grows.

    And over time yes we all need and should move on also, this does not mean we forget, we never forget, I lost a most important person a some years ago, but after time I am still alive and I moved on with my life.

    That does not mean I don't think of the fond memories ( and that is what we are suppose to remember and honor) and that does not mean that my love is still not there, but that love is no longer living and growing, that love is now a love of a memory.

    I don't know how long it has been but for some time, grieve and cry and remember, and latter it is easier to keep living
    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
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    #4

    Dec 30, 2006, 06:58 AM
    I suggest that you go back and re-read all the kind, wise and supportive responses you've gotten to all your previous posts on this here, here, here, and here. As many have said already, time is the great healer and as much as we might wish it, there really is no substitute for its passage in healing from a great loss such as yours.
    ladyred1's Avatar
    ladyred1 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 13, 2007, 03:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by dj85
    Everyone night when I pray I talk to the love of my life letting him know that I will always carry the love we have. But Ive been wondering if he could hear me, I dont wont him to think that I have forgotten about him and moved on with my life because I HAVENT! Im still grieving feeling miserable wondering if he still hear me, see me, love me. I just really dont understand, its hard going through this

    DJ85

    Anyone who can offer honest, respectful, and kind advice through this time I would surely appreciate it.
    Hi sorry 2 hear about your sad loss its shows deeply that you cared so much for this man time is such a good healer and it will heal you one day.I,m sure this man is around uyou in spirt and is wacthing over you enjoy the times you had together cause they are you memories and no one can take them away from you cause they belong to you and you onlyxxlady
    Latina61263's Avatar
    Latina61263 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Apr 6, 2007, 09:01 AM
    That is exactly what I ask myself? I just very recently lost my love to a sudden death. It's left me with so many questions ,grief, and emptiness. I feel like I can't feel my heart. How to accept one day he fine and the next he is gone. We were planning on getting married, and had so many plans. We had schedule a vacation in June, which he was so excited about, this is where I found out he plan to propose to me. Now he is gone and left such emptiness in me. I don't think I will ever heal from this lost. I do know that its taught me to think differently ,you have to live for today and make it a happy day since tomorrow is never promised. I do know the day before he passed he was happy and laughing, but he still had so much to live for and look forward too. He was full of love, very caring for others and had unbelievable heart. He always told me I was his Queen and he always treated me like one. It's been a great loss to me to lose someone as special as he was.I know you know the pain I am feeling.
    I think it will always be hard to cope or understand, we just have to hope that the beautiful memories they left in us will comfort us and keep them alive in our hearts. I am still dealing with the shock,pain and acceptance. Like you, there are many that are grieving a love one and asking themseleves the same question. If you do find the answer to your question please let me know, because truthfully I don't think we can ever accept losing that special man in our life. Especially if he was so good to us. So like you, I cry tears of sadness,missing that love one. We just have to hope they are in a better place and even if we can't see them or hear their voice their spirit remain close to us. I am sorry for your lost, I myself know that feeling so well now.
    paradoxlie's Avatar
    paradoxlie Posts: 33, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Apr 7, 2007, 09:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by dj85
    Everyone night when I pray I talk to the love of my life letting him know that I will always carry the love we have. But Ive been wondering if he could hear me, I dont wont him to think that I have forgotten about him and moved on with my life because I HAVENT! Im still grieving feeling miserable wondering if he still hear me, see me, love me. I just really dont understand, its hard going through this

    DJ85

    Anyone who can offer honest, respectful, and kind advice through this time I would surely appreciate it.
    I am about to log off... and I see your question... Stop... you are keeping alive the misery of losing a loved one. I can turn you in another direction. But Not Now... sorry... Answer me this first.. how long has it been... and what was the relationship? I will leave a detailed commentary forthright. -Peace... Malcolm-

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