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pillnowa · Sep 27, 2010, 06:52 AM

I've been with a boyfriend for 2 months now. We don't live in the same country . So we met on the Internet and we felt like love but after a month when he came to me he did not bring me anything with him .he's working good and he spent money in other expensive things when he visited me but all the time he was with me he haven't think for once to buy me anything which I find a bit strange! Don't you ?

NeedKarma · Sep 27, 2010, 06:58 AM

Not really. I view men and women as equals. No one should expects gifts. Have you gone to visit him? Did you bring him a gift?

talaniman · Sep 27, 2010, 08:01 AM

Are you of the same culture, with the tradition of gift giving is required, or maybe his tradition is different, or your love may have higher expectations than his.

Either way, be careful of assuming, and presuming what you find different in a stranger, and maybe you need to know a lot more about him, and his culture, before you start getting carried away by your own feelings, that make you overly judgmental of how he expresses or carries himself.

Its only two months over the NET, and one meeting. How that translate to love in the first place is beyond me, so pay closer attention. Where are you both from, and how old are you??

Jake2008 · Sep 27, 2010, 08:18 AM

I know there are suggestions for married couples. After 10 years, it's silver or something, and on and on after that.

But, not aware of any rule that after dating for only two months, it is common for a boyfriend to give a gift. What were you expecting- jewellery?

In your case, you have been 'dating' for two months, but have only seen each other once. You said he pays for other expensive things, and I presume that to be dinners, entertainment, taxi's etc. Which in my opinion, is quite generous- shouldn't you be paying half?

You ask, 'is this strange that he doesn't buy you a anything', and I think that you should be grateful that he is paying for the 'other expensive things'.

I think its strange that you should ask for more than he has already given. I imagine the trip and expenses cost him plenty already.

Maybe if the relationship works out, he would be inclined to buy you something for your birthday, or Christmas. But, after 'dating' only two months, and actually being together only once, you are expecting too much in my opinion.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 27, 2010, 08:41 AM

The biggest point is that him visiting you and coming to see you is a gift in itself, but you expecting something else is just not a good way to look at it. If that is how that will be, he should know that you expected more and maybe he will realize that you're the wrong person for him?

pillnowa · Sep 28, 2010, 06:23 AM

Thanks you all for you're answers I really apriciate that .well when I talked about a gift it doesn't have to be expensive at all for me just something any thing even a flower whould be good . And he is the one who is visiting me in my culture it's really strange that he did not bring me anything . For many mybe gift is not important but it really helps a lot in a relationship lets be honnest . And to answer the fact that he's paying for expensive things I have to say that as I said before he gains he's live good so it's normal for him to pay for this caind of things knowing that am still a student we're not from the same culture yes that's true I hope it's the only why .coz we are planing for a live together and I want my men to be a ware of this caind of things

NeedKarma · Sep 28, 2010, 06:25 AM

I hope that you have made it clear to him that you expect him to be your sugardaddy.

talaniman · Sep 28, 2010, 06:37 AM

Knowing what you expect is something that you better tell him, as he will never be able to read your mind.

Living together or even planning after two months of online chatting and one visit that raises questions in your mind is a very risky proposition indeed, and some very high expectations.

But its obvious you want some one who can afford to take care of you and I can only suggest you look carefully.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 28, 2010, 07:05 AM

You do not get it do you? He visited you. That is a gift. I do not care if the gift is small or big, expensive or not. To expect it. Is not good.

Sorry but you should be more appreciative but your not. Good luck with everything.

88sunflower · Sep 28, 2010, 07:27 AM

Why is a gift so important to you? Isn't the cost of his trip enough of a gift? Not knowing what kind of person you are he took a chance to spend the money to see you in person. I understand you have a relationship. But an internet relationship compared to in person is slightly different in my opinion.

You said he paid for things while he was there. Isn't this enough of a gift? Not only did he fund the trip and he flipped the bill for everything to spend time with you that should have been more then enough.

What did you buy him? After the money he used on the travel and entertainment to spend time with you, maybe you should have been the one to buy a small gift to show your appreciation.

I think your setting some high standards before this relationship can even take flight.

pillnowa · Sep 28, 2010, 07:34 AM

I think I got the point of all you're responds thanks a lot , because I don't think now the same way / and I can say that am good with myself I don't have to think over and over in that becoz I see that it was normal for evry body in here but me so I must be wrong anyway thanks evrybody