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meghana · Dec 28, 2006, 08:55 PM

Hi all, I am Meghana. I am working in a MNC as software engineer. I am in love with my best friend since the last 2 years. We are friends for 7 years. He is also working as Software Engineer in a MNC .We earn approx 50k per month togather .We love each other so much that we can't live without each other. My mother knows him and likes him as a person and after telling her about our love she is telling that she treated him like his son and she is not interested in our marriage. My dad is so particular about caste. We both are upper caste only, still he is not accepting for the only reason he is of different caste(I am reddy and he is naidu).We both are from same hometown. That guys parents have no problem in our marriage and they are even talking to me like a friend once they knew about our love . My dad has a very big(rich) circle and his(that guys) family is rich but not like ours. His parents say that if my father accepts then they have no problem at all . I tried convincing my parents but they are not accepting. My parents beg me to marry the guy they show, but I can't expect anyone else in that place. Please help me.

CaptainForest · Dec 28, 2006, 10:20 PM

You two make a combined yearly income of 50,000 x 12 = $600,000 and your Dad doesn't like him because he isn't rich?

Well, in a couple of years he will have more money saved up than he knows what to do with.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2006, 10:36 PM

Hard to say about another culture but Americans usually never ask permission to marry and my kids looked at me funny when I made suggestions. Is there no mediator in your culture for things like this?

smg1902 · Dec 28, 2006, 10:49 PM

Hi I Am Swapnil. I Am Also In Love With Some One.
I Don't Know That She Is Or Not Because When I Was Ask Her About My Feeling She Replys ' I Am Not Interested' And Further She Said That It Is Not In Favour Of Her Father. It Means She Is But She Cann't. So I Love Her Very Much But I Can Not Say To Love Me To Her. It Is My Opinion That If Our Family Is Not Happy With Your Decision Then Why Should You Go With Your Decision For Love Of Just 2 Years. Your Family Love You Since 18 To 20 Years. Please Don't Forgot Your Love But Be Alive Family Decision. So It An Understanding That Gives Satisfaction. Your Family Makes So Many Sacrifices For You And You Are Not Able To Make A Small Sacrifice.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 29, 2006, 08:35 AM

This is an issue that us here in America cannot fully understand, since in the US if older children who are working and earning their own living, wish to marry, they just do so, there is little concern in the US in getting a parents permission, of if they do TELL them, not ask them, and they don't like it, they just get married anyway.

The closet thing for here in the US to compare the caste system to would be culture and/or race, in the US it would be like the daughter of a clan member wanting to marry the son of a black power movement leader.

But in their culture this is the way things are, parents still help arrange weddings and have much more control over the life of their children.

I doubt if any of us can fully understand it unless we have lived in or at least near that sort of system

What happens if you just marry him anyway?

s_cianci · Dec 29, 2006, 09:59 AM

As Fr. Chuck suggests, your only option is to just get married anyway or to go along with your parents and marry the person they select for you. You have to make your own decision and do what you feel is best for you.

Curlyben · Dec 29, 2006, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by CaptainForest

You two make a combined yearly income of 50,000 x 12 = $600,000 and your Dad doesn't like him b/c he isn't rich?

Hey Capt, in this case the OP means Rupees, about $1,100, as they are in India.

CaptainForest · Dec 29, 2006, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by Curlyben

Hey Capt, in this case the OP means Rupees, about $1,100, as they are in India.

Ahh, good point.

For some reason I thought I read the word dollars.

I must be losing my mind! :rolleyes:

abhishekshukla · Jan 8, 2007, 01:23 AM

Hi Meghna,
I just want to say first ask yourself whether you love your parents or love your Boy friend most.
In my opinion its your life not your parents life.you have to live a long life with that person whom you will choose your husband.So go and marry that one who you love despite all emotional things because if you loose your love you will later suffer and your lover too suffer due to your decision.

Please you still have time to catch your love.

Do write me about your decision if possible.