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    InSoCalDebt's Avatar
    InSoCalDebt Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 17, 2010, 05:15 PM
    Feeling a little clueless right now...
    I was married to a member of the military for 13 years of which he was active duty the entire marriage. We divorced 4 years ago and in the divorce papers I objected to waiving my portion of his retirement. I was told that once he retired I would start receiving my payments directly from DFAS since we were married more than 10 years. Is that true? If so was I suppose to file some paperwork or something? I haven't received anything and he retired 5 months ago. He says the retirement payment will come through him once he has a stable job.
    InSoCalDebt's Avatar
    InSoCalDebt Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Sep 17, 2010, 05:17 PM
    Military retirement benefits access for former spouse...
    I was married to a member of the military for 13 years of which he was active duty the entire marriage. We divorced 4 years ago and in the divorce papers I objected to waiving my portion of his retirement. I was told that once he retired I would start receiving my payments directly from DFAS since we were married more than 10 years. Is that true? If so was I suppose to file some paperwork or something? I haven't received anything and he retired 5 months ago. He says the retirement payment will come through him once he has a stable job.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #3

    Sep 17, 2010, 05:25 PM

    Did a lawyer handle your divorce? They / you should have already filed your paperwork when the divorce was finished. You should have filed a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order).
    InSoCalDebt's Avatar
    InSoCalDebt Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 17, 2010, 05:29 PM
    We filed ourselves through family court. I do have the documents though and the papers the court drew up that state I did not waive the retirement benefit. I need to file that document (QDRO) then? Where do I get the document and who do I file it with? I am sorry I feel like such a fool to think the courts/DFAS would have handled this properly.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #5

    Sep 17, 2010, 05:43 PM

    Here are some things for you to look at and this is a great site for all divorce related info and paperwork.

    California Courts: Self-Help: Search Results: qdro
    InSoCalDebt's Avatar
    InSoCalDebt Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 17, 2010, 05:50 PM
    Califdadof3-
    Thank you for the information! I hope it isn't too late for me to file this paperwork. My ex and I get along well enough but he isn't always trustworthy (reason for divorce). I feel like he is playing me and I have been nice and tried to allow him to do the right thing, but it looks like I am going to have to take care of it myself. Do you know if there is a time limit on the submittal of paperwork?
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #7

    Sep 17, 2010, 06:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by InSoCalDebt View Post
    Califdadof3-
    Thank you for the information! I hope it isn't too late for me to file this paperwork. My ex and I get along well enough but he isn't always trustworthy (reason for divorce). I feel like he is playing me and I have been nice and tried to allow him to do the right thing, but it looks like I am going to have to take care of it myself. Do you know if there is a time limit on the submittal of paperwork?
    Im not super familier with QDRO's. I don't believe there is a time limit because this concerns a judement of the court and has been declared an award in your favor. You can ask a family law facilitator near you at the courthouse and ask them for sure. At this stage it may be different paperwork such as a joinder depending on how the case went and any time limits imposed. You should be getting your checks directly and not though him.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #8

    Sep 17, 2010, 06:12 PM

    Here is some more info to better understand what the qdro is and does for you. Also this article states that for government purposes you may not need a qdro but something like it.

    QDRO's: Frequently Asked Questions | divorcenet.com

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