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madandconfused · Sep 16, 2010, 11:20 AM

What rights does a husband have if his wife has an affair and bears a child as a result?

Kitkat22 · Sep 16, 2010, 11:21 AM

Could you please elaborate a bit more?

smoothy · Sep 16, 2010, 11:23 AM

Depends on where you live... I know two guys in a Virginia jail right now for refusing to pay child support for kids their wives had wile having affairs, And DNA tests proved wasn't theirs.

All I can say is I feel for you and hope you aren't the one that gets the shaft while the real dad gets off the hook. Unless you are OK with it and willing to raise it as one of your own then that is between you and you rwife.

madandconfused · Sep 16, 2010, 11:35 AM

I was working ot of state (but home on weekends). Wife turned up pregnant. At that time, we were living in Illinois but we are now living in Florida. Unfortunately I "turned my back" on the situation and raised him as my own without question. However, now the marriage is beyond repair and its time for both of us to deal with it.

smoothy · Sep 16, 2010, 11:43 AM

I think once you raised them as your own... almost any jursidiction views them as your own. Unless you can get full custody somehow expect to pay child support and alimony.

AdoptionSTAR · Sep 16, 2010, 11:49 AM

If the birth mother is married, her husband is considered the legal father whether he is the biological father.

Adoption STAR

madandconfused · Sep 16, 2010, 11:52 AM

@adoptionstar... I have no issue with raising him. In fact I wouldn't have it any other way. I was just putting feelers out there to see if I had any rights or recourse...

smoothy · Sep 16, 2010, 11:58 AM

What AdoptionSTAR was saying... you would legally be considered the kids father... and have the right that you would have if they were your own genetically.

this8384 · Sep 16, 2010, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by madandconfused

I was working ot of state (but home on weekends). Wife turned up pregnant. At that time, we were living in Illinois but we are now living in Florida. Unfortunately I "turned my back" on the situation and raised him as my own without question. However, now the marrage is beyond repair and its time for both of us to deal with it.

Now it's my turn to be confused - you raised this child as your own, knowing it wasn't biologically yours; now your marriage is broken up, and you want to know what your "legal recourse" is for turning a blind eye at the time of the affair?

I think not. That would be like her getting into a car accident, you telling her it's fine, and then deciding years later that you want her to reimburse you for the cost of the accident because your marriage failed. That's not how it works.

Here's how both of you "deal with it" - stop acting like juveniles and love your child with everything you have. Keep him first in everything and do not, under any circumstances, put him in the middle of your split. Show him that you love him above and beyond yourself.

cdad · Sep 16, 2010, 12:54 PM

How long have you lived in Florida?

Kitkat22 · Sep 16, 2010, 12:59 PM

That child didn't ask to be brought into the world. You accepted it as yours and now you are going to just look at the monetary issues. That stinks

madandconfused · Sep 17, 2010, 10:27 AM

Boy you people are snippy... talk about judging a book by its cover... you all should be ashamed of yourselves for jumping to conclusions about a situation... is this how you advise/ help all people with questions?? Perhaps you all should reread what I poseted again before commenting...

I specifically said that I would raise this child as my own... period. I have no intentions of not supporting him emotionally or financially. I have no intentions on disrupting this child's life any more than it has been already.

madandconfused · Sep 17, 2010, 10:29 AM

5 years...

madandconfused · Sep 17, 2010, 10:30 AM

Please show me where i said that i was strictly looking at monetary issues... please do... i challenge you...

this8384 · Sep 17, 2010, 10:45 AM

Originally Posted by madandconfused

boy you people are snippy... talk about judging a book by its cover... you all should be ashamed of yourselves for jumping to conclusions about a situation... is this how you advise/ help all people with questions??? Perhaps you all should reread what I poseted again before commenting...

i specifically said that i would raise this child as my own... period. I have no intentions of not supporting him emotionally or financially. I have no intentions on disrupting this childs life any more than it has been already.

First of all, you can direct yourself to the site rules for using the rating system:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

Second, I didn't jump to any conclusions about anything. You asked what your legal recourse is against your wife - the legal answer is NONE.

I didn't say anything about you walking away from your child or disrupting his life; if you'd like to talk about being snippy and jumping to conclusions, take a good hard look in the mirror.

Get over your "poor me" attitude and try being an adult. I'm starting to see why this marriage fell apart...

Kitkat22 · Sep 17, 2010, 10:47 AM

Ouite frankly, uou gave us very little information to go on. You said your wife had a child by another man and you were getting divorced so, that's asking us about anything.

Perhaps if you explained what you want answers to, we will be happy to help. There are great people here
Who know the law and are lawyers themselves.

this8384 · Sep 17, 2010, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Ouite frankly, uou gave us very little information to go on. you said your wife had a child by another man and you were getting divorced so, that's asking us about anything.

Perhaps if you explained what you want answers to, we will be happy to help. There are great people here
who know the law and are lawyers themselves.

He wants to know if he can sue his wife for having an affair that he "forgave" her for years ago, because now his marriage fell apart and he wants to pout.

madandconfused · Sep 17, 2010, 10:59 AM

As much as the spiteful side of me would like to do that, I do not believe that there is any legal precedent in favor of it...

Synnen · Sep 17, 2010, 11:00 AM

PLEASE be nice.

He isn't trying to get out of child support.

It would be good if we DID know the specifics of what the OP is asking, though. However--put yourselves in his shoes. How would YOU feel?

He's wanting to do right by the child--let's find out what his questions really are before jumping to conclusions, please.

madandconfused · Sep 17, 2010, 11:01 AM

I was merely looking for a small answer to a question about whether I had any legal rights or recourse. It's a give and take thing.. if someone said yes, then I would ask a follow-up question. If someone said no, then I would thank them.