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Shaina07 · Sep 15, 2010, 10:06 AM

My ex and I were together a month after our son was born and then I left him. He was there when our son was born and signed the affidavit of paternity because we were not married. I left him because I found out he was back on drugs and he had become mentally and physically abusive to me. There were 2 occasions that he had hit me once was while I was pregnant with our son but I did not call the police because he promised it would never happen again and his other 3 year old son was in the bed asleep and I did not want him to be in the middle of that. The 2nd time was after we had come home from the hospital with our son he punched me in the back and almost made me fall on top of our newborn son. His 3 year old son was there and witnessed it and it upset him really bad. Still I did not call the police or leave because I didn't want his son to see him go to jail and I felt like I had no where to go. Well my son and I were asleep one night and my ex came home after hanging out with his friends and I woke up and looked at the clock it was 11pm. I heard him moving around in the kitchen starting to cook something so I went back to sleep. I then woke up to my son screaming and I realized the house was full of smoke. I instantly grabbed my son out of his bed and threw a blanket over his head. I went running into the kitchen going to try and get out of the house. I then realized my ex was asleep on the couch and I started screaming for him to wake up. When he got up we realized there was no fire but he had left sausage cooking on the stove for 6 hours while he fell asleep. He had later confessed that he got high and when he came home he had the munchies and then fell asleep after starting the food. I told him I could not put my son in danger and I was going to leave him. I called my mom to come get me and my son. I have been living with her ever since. He has had no contact with me about seeing our son and he is now 3 months old. I went to DHR for child support and they contacted him about paying with out having to go before a judge and he agreed to do so. We had an appointment to sign the papers and he didn't show or call. Now it is being sent before the judge. He also has other drug charges in which he was found guilty and he has pending charges. I need to know who has custody of our son and if I need to file for sole custody if I do not already have it. Also is there any way I can have his rights terminated or have something done about him being around my son if he ever decides he does want to see him. I don't want my son around the drugs and the danger it will put him in.

Emona646 · Oct 13, 2010, 03:09 PM

GOOD 4 U GETTING AWAY! There are lots of things you can do eg: File a restraning order get costerdy ooo lot of things! I would go to all lenghs to save my child no matter the cost sure u will 2!
P.S sorry 4 spelling :(
And GOOD LUCK!

By the way pretty sure a cout would agree with you too! <3

cbass · Oct 15, 2010, 08:52 PM

You need to go to family services ond file a FVPA family violence protection order this will give you temparary garianship and a restraining order, but as for righth now whom ever has possession of the child has custody. Through family services it should not cost you anything

Fr_Chuck · Oct 16, 2010, 04:53 AM

First file a restraining order based on what evidence. Sorry that is not proper legal procedure.

You file for custody in family court, along with a order for child support. At this point there is no custody order in place and both of you share it.

You may file for physcial and legal custody (they are different) and he may file for joint or for visits if he wants to fight in court.

ScottGem · Oct 16, 2010, 05:52 AM

I've moved this from the Children forum. Please take more care when choosing a forum to post in. As you can see if you choose the wrong forum, you can get all sorts of foggy answers.

Since he is the legal father he has joint legal custody. However, until he challenges it you have primary physical custody. He would need to go to court to get any visitation rights. But you might need to consult him on certain decisions.

It is unlikely you will get sole legal and physical custody, even given his record. You can probably get supervised visitation if he asks for visitation. The legal fact is that you chose to have a baby with him, now you and that child has to live with that decision.

You need to wait and see what he does in court before you decide your next move.