[supportingwife]

I recently found out my son of 14 yrs is not by biological son. His mother left when he was two. I have always been his primary care taker and plan to still be. Everything I am reading says it is best to tell him as soon as possible. He does have contact with his mother. I plan to continue to raise and love him as always. I just want to do what is best for him and have no idea how to handle this one...

[slapshot_oi]

Ya, if I were him I'd want to know ASAP. Especially before adulthood.

As for how you do it, that's up to you. Being a mom, you know what's best for your boy.

[redhed35]

I would seriously consider getting professional advice on this one before you say anything.

This is going to shock him to the core.

I am going to assume you now know for a FACT he is not your biological son.

You need a plan of action on how and when to tell him, and supports in place for both of you.

He will at some stage or if not already have had issues with his mother.

Again,I will urge you not to enter into this conversation until ALL supports are in place and you have answers to questions he may have.

I don't know about the legal side of things but perhaps some advice there also.

Edit: just to clarify 'supports' other adults he can talk too, a councillor lined up should he want to,and for you. And his mother preped for a 'just in case question and answer session from him', he will need to be reasured over and over that you are his dad,you love him and want him,and you will get through this together.

Be prepared for anger.