my best friend found out i told her families deepest secret to someone what to do?
What I'm about to say is horrible, I feel so guilty and horrible and have no idea why I would do this. I have been best friends with this girl for 5 years, we have been through everything together. Not just typical high school stuff but serious things like our parents divorces and things.
She's always been there for me except onet day when we had a fight this year and I felt so alone and angry and hurt. She had told everyone about it and I got so upset it then slowly escalated and I said some things I did regret, and we didn't speak for a month we had never gone 3 days without speaking before.
The thing is our mums live together as friends so they became involved in our argument and I went to live with my dad for a bit because it was awkward living together. We eventually made up. The reason we live together in the first place is because my mum was helping her mum through things with her abusive ex boyfriend who had hurt her and messed her up a few times they are now broken up and its been 8 months since.
It affected my friend really badly and I could see her hurting and I needed to talk to someone, I'm still confused as why I did it because it wasn't about me it was just bothering me. I spoke to another girl about my bestfriends mum being abused I told her every detail, I trusted her and I honestly believe she wouldn't tell anyone, I just needed someone to listen because I couldn't talk to my best friend about it. It was bothering everyone in our house hold. I have told her everything all my best friends secrets not trying to be mean just getting another persons imput down to the person that she liked which I realise now was totally unneccarssary. I did it because I just shared everything with her believing she wouldn't tell anybody.
My best friend just told her recently 8 months later that her mum had had trouble with a boyfriend, so the friend told her everything I had told her and said that my best friend shouldn't trust me. I don't understand why she would do that... 8 months later, its just odd.
Im so angry I feel she did it to cause trouble but I guess she was right she couldn't trust me I just know she wouldn't tell anyone and she hasn't except for the person it was about, but why? Why I trusted her why did she need to tell her randomly.
My best friend came over and yelled at me while crying and then went back to her dads for the weekend and said she's not coming back here until my mum and I move out so I decided to go to my sisters to live until we do but she won't even come back then. I feel horrible I cried for hours and I would never ever do this again I realise how serious the subject of the fight was and is, how can I justify what I have done? I haven't tried to talk to her yet because I seriously don't even know what to do she hates me... do I just let her go, 5 years of friendship?
I feel so guilty its insane but I just don't know how to explain why I did something so awful when I don't even know why I did it. I just want to fix it but don't know where to start or if she will even want to fix it, I'm so upset and she must be more upset, I just don't want to lose this she was like my family, I majorly screwed up. How do I begin to explain what I have done or justify my reasons for doing this? Or apologise for something so awful? I wouldn't forgive me if I was in her position, what do I do? I'm only 15 years old but this is just so serious. The friend that told her she only did it to cause trouble I think, so she's out I trusted her but clearly not anymore. I just need advice, I felt so low... and still do.
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