[kiewiebeauty]

My boyfriend argued with me and broke up with me more than 10times but would have tears in his eyes and say you're the one I love you.. but he broke it off for good cause I wouldn't be controlled by him anymore.. he then hacked my account and exploited me.. then the day afterhe went to his ex girlfriend who he broke up with cause he daint love her, so he's using her to try and get over me but last night he messaged me and said I'm coming home from ambers I'm in love with you I want you but my parents hate him and never want to see him again...

Pleasee helpp what should I doo?? xx

[talaniman]

You should tell him to stay where he is for these reason,

1- He dumped you 10 times, and crying or not nobody who really cares does that!

2-but he broke it off for good cause I wouldn't be controlled by him anymore..

3-he then hacked my account and exploited me

4-then the day after he went to his ex girlfriend who he broke up with cause he doesn't love her

5-he then hacked my account and exploited me

6- he's using her to try and get over me

7-parents hate him and never want to see him again...

All good reasons for you to tell him NO WAY!!

[kiewiebeauty]

Thank you I appriciate your advice.. I just get upset when I think of the memories we had.. I just don't want to think this way forevver :(

[kiewiebeauty]

Will I ever get over him.. I know I can't be with him because my parents hate him.
But why do I feel like he will be the only one I will ever love he's gone back to his baby's mother now but he says he wants me.. I personally think he's usuing her to try and get over me but he told mei was the one and he loved me more than anything.. but he did not treat me nice.. I don't know what todo, does he really love me or isit puppy love..

Can any tell me their experiences and give me some advice too xx
Pleasee I'm a mess!

p.s I'm only 16

[talaniman]

thank you I appreciate your advice.. I just get upset when I think of the memories we had.. I just don't want to think this way forever :(

Trust me you won't. If you stop listening and putting up with his BS, through strict NO CONTACT, for any reason you will heal, and be much better for a healthier happier more mature adult relationship.

Read the stickies and see how its best done.

[ScottGem]

p.s im only 16

I like the way you said "ONLY" 16. Yes you will get over him. Frankly, anyone who would date a 16 yr old that already has a child is NOT someone you want to be involved with in the first place.

I merged your threads, please don't start multiple threads for the same issues. Also don't use the comments feature for follow-up info.

[kiewiebeauty]

I know.. he has a kid and I've been brought up well and I don't feel comfortable with it either x
thank you for the advice and your truthful opinions

[kiewiebeauty]

He also controlled me and messed me about :(
When he needed mei would be there but when I had to go to my grandmas he would go mad at me . I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him trying not to say or do anything that will make him go mad and I was depressed and not myself. He would tell me to come to his house everyday.. and I would then he would say I need space so when I give him space he then says " you dont love me, you neva want to spend anytime" he makes me feel guilty and apologise for something I have not done !

[Just Looking]

You are right that he is controlling. You don't need that. I was in a somewhat controlling relationship when I was 18, for a couple of years. I understand exactly what you mean about walking on eggshells. I don't know that you fully realize how bad it is until you leave, especially when you are young and haven't experienced what a good relationship is all about.

You say you are upset when you think of the memories you have. Maybe you should focus on the bad memories instead of the good memories. Often when you are not the one doing the breaking up, you think of what you lost. Change that to think of what you have gained - your freedom, your ability to move on and make better choices, and a lot of knowledge about yourself.

As Tal said, you gave many good reasons not to be involved with this guy. You will meet many guys in the future and the key is to get to know them and figure out if they are good relationship material for you. This guy is not. There will be others. Don't settle for less than you deserve. You deserve to be happy and to have the respect and kindness of the person you love.

[kiewiebeauty]

Thankyouu :) when you said you realise how bad it is did you meen how bad I was treated or how bad it feels to not be with him ?x

[Just Looking]

kiewiebeauty : thankyouu :) when you said you realise how bad it is did you meen how bad I was treated or how bad it feels to not be with him ?x

I mean how bad you are being treated. A relationship, especially at 16, should be fun. When you feel like you have to walk on eggshells, when he is breaking up with you so often, when his ex is still involved, when he violates your privacy (hacks into your account) - all of these are red flags. Each of these are cause for you to leave him.

What I figured out when I was younger is that I want a relationship where I am treated as an equal, respected, listened to, am proud of, and that I enjoy. At 16, you should be having fun and not dealing with all this drama. It can cause so much damage to your self-esteem and confidence - which can take years to repair. Don't let him back in your life. Get involved instead with your family and your good friends, and concentrate on doing well in school. That will pay off for the rest of your life. :)

[kiewiebeauty]

thank you you're right I'm starting collage on Monday so I can look forward to that at least xx.. I just honestly hope I get over him because at this moment in time I feel like I won't be able to ever get over him :( will I ? Why do I feel like its going to be forever? Am inormal ?x

plus: he used to say I will stay with you forever.. it was like he had two sides to him x

[ScottGem]

You will be drawn into the whirlwind that is your freshman year in college and shortly you won't have any time to even think of him. Freshman year is very important and you need to concentrate on your grades.

[Just Looking]

He said that to you to set the hook, and he did have two sides to him. It probably never occurred to him that you wouldn't let yourself be treated this way. Part of the reason you don't know if you'll get over him or whether you'll find someone new is that he has treated you badly and it has hurt yourself image.

Give yourself some time. Starting college (at 16 - good for you) is a perfect reason for you to take a time out from guys. It will take time for you to adapt to college. It's different than high school - you have to develop better study habits, your professors expect a higher level of maturity and won't take any excuses, and you'll be meeting new people. I don't know if you will still be at home or if you are living on campus, but if you are leaving your house that is another area you need to learn how to handle.

You will meet someone new, and next time I hope you expect to be treated well. Don't rush into anything, though. You need to take time to heal from this guy and become strong again, and you need time to adjust to college. When the time is right, take your time getting to know someone before starting a relationship. Make sure you are compatible and that he treats you well. I went on to have several great relationships, and one bad one - but I didn't stay in that as soon as I knew it was a mistake. Now I am getting married in one month to a great guy. I'm sure the same will happen for you. Do well in college. Make lots of new friends. Take care of yourself. It will all work out.

[kiewiebeauty]

I live in england and its abit different collage but I get what your saying.
I just hate having his ex contacting me :(

[Just Looking]

Why is she contacting you? If it's about him, that should stop if you stop seeing him. Read the stickies about no contact and apply it to both of them. You don't have to respond to her. Don't talk to her, send or read her emails, etc.

[kiewiebeauty]

She is talking about him how they are going to have another kid.. but he's using her because he knows she will keep taking him back ! Ergghh I'm so angry.. I'm not jealous I'm just super angry x

[Just Looking]

So let her take him back. It's not your problem to be concerned about that. I have the impression that you don't want him back, that you realize he's not good for you. Let it and him go, and start being concerned about your own life.

[kiewiebeauty]

your right.
I would ofgot back with him though if my parents didn't hate him but they forbidme to see him x and I know he isn't right he's like brainwashed me in a way x

[Just Looking]

You'll thank your parents some day. :)

I'm sorry but I have to go into a meeting now. I hope you take the time to read the stickies on this board. They'll explain to you how to go No Contact and how to get your life back. I'll check back later. Good luck.