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lolita71 · Sep 6, 2010, 10:45 AM

I am nervous because I want to get pregnant one day and I am deeply in love with him. He is taking some prescribed drugs to keep an erection at this time. Yet, he doesn't always finish off ejaculating. He says that it just doesn't happen sometimes and also he wants to last so he holds it back. We have sex twice a week and this has been going on for about 3 months. Is stereo something wrong with him? Is he lying to me?

Wondergirl · Sep 6, 2010, 10:51 AM

Does he know you want a baby?

Cat1864 · Sep 6, 2010, 11:04 AM

How old are you both?

Have you checked into the side-effects of the medicine he is taking?

lolita71 · Sep 6, 2010, 11:55 AM

I didn't check into the side effects. I think he is on calls. I am 39 and he is 43.

lolita71 · Sep 6, 2010, 11:57 AM

Yes.. he knows I want to try to have a baby when I move in with him within a year.

lolita71 · Sep 6, 2010, 11:58 AM

I meant he is taking cialus..

Cat1864 · Sep 6, 2010, 12:24 PM

It sounds like he may want to talk to his doctor about side-effects and whether it is something he is doing or another symptom of what is causing his erectile problems.

He may be having sex more frequently than his system can recharge. The drug helps with getting the erection. It doesn't help with producing the ejaculate.

How was your sex life before three months ago?

I don't think he is lying to you. I think he has physical issues and it is something that you both need to discuss IF you both want children later.

How does he feel about having a child? There could be a subconscious block if he isn't sure about being a father.

Wondergirl · Sep 6, 2010, 12:28 PM

He may have retrograde ejaculation. It's not something he can control.

Retrograde ejaculation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

lolita71 · Sep 6, 2010, 01:11 PM

I have been with him for two years. We have a pretty normal sex life. Before we started having sex, he didn't have sex with anyone for years. He told me that he did not want kids but since I want one, he will give me one. I can tell sometimes when I think he is going to ejaculated because he shakes... then he stops shaking and goes on. He can last too. I will check on those side effects...

Cat1864 · Sep 6, 2010, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by lolita71

I have been with him for two years. We have a pretty normal sex life. Before we started having sex, he didn't have sex with anyone for years. He told me that he did not want kids but since I want one, he will give me one. I can tell sometimes when I think he is going to ejaculated because he shakes... then he stops shaking and goes on. He can last too. I will check on those side effects...

I think you need to sit down and have an honest discussion about the future. What does he think his responsibilities in raising a child would be? What type of father do you expect him to be?

On a subconscious level, he could be making a slight problem worse.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 6, 2010, 01:30 PM

And why is he taking the medication, can he not have an erection without it ? Many of the medications will make him last such a long time, often it may be harder to complete.

What happens when you try to have sex without the medication.

Wondergirl · Sep 6, 2010, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by lolita71

I can tell sometimes when I think he is going to ejaculated because he shakes... then he stops shaking and goes on.

He could be having an orgasm when he shakes, and the ejaculate takes a detour and goes into his bladder instead (retrograde ejaculation). When he urinates later, the ejaculate comes out with any urine. This is not something he can control, if this is what is happening. Read the link I had posted to see if any of it sounds familiar.

lolita71 · Sep 6, 2010, 01:46 PM

Well, we tried to have sex without the medication but during sex, he loses his erection. I did have a talk with him about my concerns and he said that he holds the ejaculated back for my benefit so he can last longer. I just think its something else emotionally going on. He seems to be okay with starting a family with me.

Wondergirl · Sep 6, 2010, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by lolita71

he said that he holds the ejaculated back for my benefit so he can last longer.

No matter how much a male holds back, doesn't an orgasm finally cause the ejaculate to be expelled (unless it detours into the bladder)? Or he may be forcing it to detour into the bladder when he holds back so much?

asking · Sep 6, 2010, 01:58 PM

Inability to ejaculate is a common side effect of some drugs. E.g. the antidepressant Effexor. Probably others. And no, men don't necessarily ejaculate. Just as women can have trouble reaching orgasm, so can men.