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arabella5 · Sep 1, 2010, 04:24 AM

I'm 25 and have 2 kids, the youngest one is 5 months. I've completely lost my sex drive and feel so sorry for my boyfriend. He has a very high sex drive and if he had his way we'd be doing it every day, but I just can't be bothered!
I love him and still find him attractive and want to enjoy sex again but when it comes to sex I have to really talk myself into doing it, I would honestly rather watch paint dry. Is this normal and could someone please give me some advice?

Cat1864 · Sep 1, 2010, 04:56 AM

There are many things that affect a person's libido.

Let's start here: How much help do you get with the children and household? Do you work outside the home as well as take care of two children? How stressed are you? How tired are you? Are you feeling presured to have sex and is that causing you to want it even less?

What kind of birth control are you using now? Some women find that certain types cause a decrease in their sex drive. You might want to talk to your doctor about having your hormone levels checked to make certain that there isn't a physical cause.

arabella5 · Sep 1, 2010, 05:20 AM

I work 20hours a week then look after the kids and the house when I get home - my boyfriend works full time. I don't really feel stressed out about anything but I do feel pressure at times to have sex because I don't want to hurt his feelings and make him feel unwanted.
At the moment I have an injection for birth control. I haven't really thought about going to the docs as just hoped this feeling would pass in time, never considered it could be something else.
Thank you Cat1864 for your advice x

Cat1864 · Sep 1, 2010, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by arabella5

At the moment I have an injection for birth control. I havn't really thought about going to the docs as just hoped this feeling would pass in time, never considered it could be something else.

It is probably a mixture of things.

If you haven't talked to your boyfriend about your concerns, you should. Talking to him about it could help relieve some stress or pressure that you hadn't realized was building up. The last thing you want is to build up resentment because you are trying to make yourself perform when you aren't up to it.

Together look into the side-effects of the birth control shots and talk to your doctor. Having your boyfriend involved can help him see that it isn't just him or you. He may also be able to see things a little differently than you do and can help pinpoint some of the causes.

Good luck.