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farrah01 · Aug 28, 2010, 01:56 AM

I have been dating someone for 5 months and in these 5 months our relationship has become so strong.. I love him very much and I see in his eyes he loves me too. Before he was with me he dated this girl for 3 yrs and they lived together.. she was crazy! She use to hit hima and abuse him so finally he kicked her out. Now she was trying to make her way in his life and she added his 2 sisters on Facebook.. this bugs me! My boyfriend says its only Facebook and it shoudnt matter. Am I crazy for hating this? I don't think that crazy woman should be apart of his life in anyway.. he told me he asked his sisters to delete her off Facebook but they haven't yet... he said I let things get to me. Another thing that happened was once a girl who liked my boyfriend started saying a lot of bad things to me and calling me names because she likes my boyfriend.. worst part is that she was friends with him on FB.. and I told him all this but he wouldn't delete her off it because he said he didn't want "drama" for no reason. How is this drama? She was saying bad things to your girlfriend because she likes u! THen oneday when I made a big deal he did it.. he said he gets my point and he wants me to drop all this and get over it and move on.. but why does it still bother me? Bc his ex is still in his sisters life? I need help.. I feel so hurt but he things I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

Devorameira · Aug 28, 2010, 05:36 AM

If you love him and trust him and he's never been a cheater, then let it go and quit worrying about it.

You appear to be extremely insecure and a little jealous. Relationships should be based on trust. Insecurity in relationships only cause problems now and in the future.

One of the fastest ways to drain the love out of a relationship is to be jealous and insecure. In order to love and be loved, you need to work on loving yourself and being confident in who you are.

talaniman · Aug 28, 2010, 03:25 PM

Stop trying to control every aspect of his life, as some of it is not even your business, and its all beyond your control any way. A needy girlfriend who is always nagging about others, is a short lived girlfriend indeed, because you soon tire of hearing her b1tch about every one, and everything.

LifeChangesMan · Sep 24, 2010, 03:45 PM

I wouldn't worry about it, Facebook is such a pit of crap, and nothing good ever will come out of it in my opinion. I can understand a little about your argument, but all in all, not really just stop being so controlling and noisy too, who gives a crap about who his sisters talk to. If he's been good to you and you love him, I'll whisper words of wisdom... let it be.

-LCM

Jake2008 · Sep 24, 2010, 04:42 PM

His sisters added his ex to their Facebook accounts. I presume his sisters are also on your boyfriends' Facebook; they are family after all.

So you wish to control your boyfriends contacts, and his contact's contacts. And, why are you so insecure? It may happen that your boyfriends ex will trash talk you? Or contact your boyfriend in some way and weasle her way back in his life- with the assistance of his sisters, because they are friends on Facebook?

Controlling another person, or in your case, people, is starting a new relationship with the expectation and presumption that he can't be trusted. And they can't be trusted. And you sound like you expect a big showdown on Facebook.

Deleting somebody off a computer, will not stop her, if she is determined to get to your boyfriend. She knows where he lives, who his friends are, she knows his family, what pubs he goes to, where he does his banking, and probably how many times he pees in a day. So, unless you are Houdini, or you can cover every single possibility that may occur, you are fighting a losing battle with the 'control' thing. That is not love, that is insecurity.

Everybody has a past, most of us have past relationships. But, your jealousy of what could happen, is setting yourself up to be disappointed. The more you see that threatens your relationship, the more likely the relationship will be affected- and over sooner than you think.

If you trust someone, you trust someone, it's as simple as that. If HE does something to have you question that trust, then deal with him. It has nothing to do with her. She could walk naked in front of his house with a six pack and tickets to a ballgame, and if he chooses to bite, then the problem is his, and his alone.

Give the guy a break and the benefit of the doubt. He has not done anything to indicate he is hedging, you are reading far too much into the Facebook control thing, and it just makes you look insecure and needy.

Don't let 'her' do that to you.