[cmclay]

My daughter is moving to Texas with an Army man who she met on line. He says he is divored with a son. He has a caretaker who watches him but seems like a girlfriend. My daughter is leaving a great family and going somewhere where she knows no one. She quit her part time job and college for this man she never met. The family fights all the time. She also has school loans in our name and I'm very concerned who will be paying them?

[ScottGem]

But she is 22 and you no longer control her life. You can advise and worry ad be there for her if she comes running home in tears. But this is what comes with being a parent.

[smoothy]

Second what scott said...

Having a Caretaker on an Army Salary? Unless he is a high ranking officer.. That Ain't happening, they don't make that kind of money. Hopefully she won't be pregnant when she comes running back home. SHe's getting bamboozled, and not by a very smooth guy either... "Caretaker"... thats about the worst line I've heard a guy come up with to explain a wife or girlfriend yet. And I'm a guy that has spent a lot of time on military bases over the years. And have rented a room out to a world class player at one point.

[NeedKarma]

He has a caretaker who watches him

Watches him in what way?

[smoothy]

Watches him in what way?

I'd like to see how he got through boot camp... or anything else with a "Caretaker".

Or is "Caretaker" a new slang term for wife or significant other I haven't been cued into yet about.

[Jlesnik33]

Because she is 22, you need to realize what life she wants to live, being concerned with everything including bills is very understandablev(when the loan is in your name), but will give her a sweet taste of life as well as being away from home. It will show her if she's ready or not. Just keep intouch, and don't hold this one against her. Everyone needs to find themselves.

I feel like it would be a mistake. But we aren't her to judge that.

And who knows. Maybe all will turn out.

[Jlesnik33]

I thought she meant caretaker for the son..

[NeedKarma]

i thought she meant caretaker for the son.. ?

OMG you are absolutely correct. Thanks for correcting me. I feel dumb.

[J_9]

Could caretaker be a fancy word for "babysitter" for his child?

[smoothy]

i thought she meant caretaker for the son.. ?

That would change a lot... but still, at 22, HOW is he going to afford a "Caretaker". Unless it's a family member then something still doesn't seem right.

We need some clarification by the OP... IF they know at all.

[Jlesnik33]

Your welcome, and don't feel dumb, your not. The thing I don't understand was did he say the sons babysitter, is like a girlfriend to him?

[martinizing2]

I agree with most everyone that something is not right with this situation.

Since you can't stop her since she is an adult and should know this is a dangerous thing to do, try to get her to give you a call every morning to make sure she is OK.

Find out where she will be at what time if possible.

All you can really do is try to keep close contact and make sure she is OK.

[ScottGem]

There are some red flags here. But the best you can do is make sure your daughter understands what they are and goes into this with her eyes wide open.