[beachloverjohn]

How many people actually get back together after one of them is dumped. I mean when they keep telling each other that they are still in love, but the woman says she can't be with you because it is not healthy right now, what does that mean? Well it means one of you has to change, and it is probably the one that got dumped. But even if you do change, how will the othr person know that you did? Sounds like it's a no win situation. Maybe it really is over, but you just can't except it. Should you date? Anyone have an answer to this?

[talaniman]

I tell everyone to forget the what ifs, and get your own healing in order, and be able to answer those questions yourself, based on facts, and not just feelings, because your probably in shock, and hurt after being dumped, and need enough time for the emotional dust to settle, before you can even be rational again.

Bow out gracefully, and keep your dignity, and self respect, and start your healing (by not having any more contact with her whatsoever, as that's what's confusing you now), and the answer to your questions will be right in front of you.

Its called NO CONTACT, and hard to do, but highly recommended, find out here, in the stickies at the beginning of this forum.

[KyleS28]

It is either 100% or 0% depending on how much you believe you will get back together with her. If you think you have a 0% chance and move on, you will eventually be given a chance to get back together with her. If you have any hope at all that you will get back together with her, then you have a 0% chance of it happening. Move on, forget about her, and one day she will contact you and you can decide whether to take her back.

[411Help]

it is either 100% or 0% depending on how much you believe you will get back together with her. if you think you have a 0% chance and move on, you will eventually be given a chance to get back together with her. if you have any hope at all that you will get back together with her, then you have a 0% chance of it happening. move on, forget about her, and one day she will contact you and you can decide whether or not to take her back.

I have to respectfully disagree as this is not always the case. In actuality, that rarely occurs.

[talaniman]

Believe it or not, when a person goes through a proper healing they love the life they have built for themselves, without the exes, and enjoy the blessing that other options and opportunities bring. They very seldom want to go back because moving forward IS the better option.

That's been my personal experience as well.

[dude21]

If she says its not healthy tell her you'll change and say you're sorry. Even if you don't know what you did wrong say sorry and express your feelings. If she loves you she'll come back. Its going to be all good bud.

[valbaby]

I recently went out on a date with an ex that broke up with me around 5 years ago. He mentioned numerous times how much I've changed. It was a great re-assurance on how far I have come in life, but the way I look at it, an ex is an ex for a reason. The time for him and I passed, and all the stars hold for us now is friendship. :)
Hope this helped

[Imabadman]

People get back together all the time. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. There is no magic formula like someone mentioned above of 0% this or 100% that. OMG...

As Tal said the best thing you can do is respectfully bow out and get your poop in a group. Move on with your life. If your paths cross again, well you decide at that time.

I personally have gotten back together with EX's before. I had generally found that either I or they had preconceived notions of ones behavior and this generally caused yet another break up and more heartache. I really believe if a couple can reconnect and really focus on their issues and communicate they'll actually have a stronger relationship. Anything worth wild takes hard work.

Good luck.